Happy Easter everyone! As near as I can tell, this is a holiday celebrating when Jesus rose from the dead after being crucified. Jesus came forth from his tomb and went to Egypt, where he enslaved a bunch of rabbits and had them paint eggs, which he then took and started hiding in children's houses all over the world. Then Moses came and freed all the rabbits by taking them to Israel, where they were presumably consumed by Arabs on account of them's good eatin'. Now the pro-Jesus camp celebrates by hiding eggs and the pro-Moses camp celebrates by eating matzo, which is what Moses fed the rabbits.
Now that I've been condemned to Hell by the Muslims and the Christians and the Jews have decided I'm going to some place that is bad after death but they aren't really sure where on account of them not having worked out all the kinks in their afterlife yet (despite having 4000 years in which to do it)...
Maybe I should try studying holidays that are slightly newer than the Megalesia.
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The early Jews had no belief in the afterlife. What kind of lame religion is that? No wonder they couldn't keep the membership high.
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