*Changes Original Headline*

Second day of the Lemuria.

--------------------------------------------------

I took my Bio test today. I don't know how I did. I then discovered that I didn't have to take the Chem test tomorrow after all-- next Wednesday will be fine. This was good because it means that I'm back to my original plan, and bring a bunch of stuff home this weekend but come back next week, probably with a car.

And the fact that I didn't have the exam tomorrow meant that I was able to go visit Ryter today, which was good as he was feeling kinda down. I was pretty unhelpful but at least he wasn't alone.

Now it's late and I need sleep, I have much packing to do tomorrow...

Sheldon is always appropriate.

Today is a day honoring Mens, who is the goddess of the mind and consciousness, and if your first thought was of menstruation, don't worry, it was mine too.

If not, then, uhm... You heard nothing.

-----------------------------------------------

Not much to say today, as it's late. I just got back from Ryter's at 1, we watched Deep Impact and Volcano, both of which boast minimal science (well, Deep Impact is at least mildly feasible, if incredibly unlikely), and generally rotted our brains, then repaired them with a deep and meaningful discussion.

Report: I got a 75 on the ACS exam, so I have an 86 in Chem lecture. I will take the final but I won't study for it until after my Bio test on Thursday.

I got a 97 on the Bio presentation today. Thus, clearly, it went well. Hilarious, but some of the kids read off note cards the whole time so we lost some points. At least everyone showed up and was prepared, and I collected the bills from everyone and my professor had me distribute the repayment, which was in Sacajawea and Susan B. Anthony dollars. This made me giggle, and think of this:



He's also decided the test will be open note, but no handouts allowed. Alas, the margins of my handouts is where I took my notes, so I have to recopy stuff.

Now, the bed calls to me....

Spiderman is emo now, didya notice?

So... remember how that Chem exam was going to be the week after next, thus giving me a whole week between them in which I could study for Chem and forget Bio?

I was wrong.

It's Friday or nothing.

GAH!!!!!!

I don't have TIME to study for Chem AND Bio! That's what screwed me over last time when I flunked that Bio exam! How the hell am I supposed to deal with this? I mean, it's an optional final. But I really, really wanted it to be a choice, and now it might not be, not really.

As best as I can calculate, I have a 86% in that course, not factoring in the ACS exam and assuming I have about an 80 in lab. That's a B. I wanted to get an A-, but will settle (grudgingly) for a B+, which requires an 87%.

I don't know what grade I will have to get overall, all told, to induce me to try to study for Chem and take that final. I haven't decided if I want to settle for a B or not. I must think. And talk to my folks.

-------------------------------------------------

Today I woke up at 11:00 or so when Vivacia (formerly known as Mistake, if you're not caught up on recent posts) called, asking me if I wanted to go to the mall. I, in sleepiness, replied that I thought I had stuff to do and I didn't think I could. She seemed rather upset but said okay.

About half an hour later, once I had actually woken up, I thought about it, and realized that I hadn't had anything planned for today besides meeting Ryter's mom for dinner, and I could have easily gone to the mall. So I called Vivacia back and spent waaaaay too long convincing her that I did actually want to go, but my sleepy coma had stopped me from voicing my true intentions.

So we went to the mall... I got a sundress, actually, though the whole point was to get gifts for Mother's Day. I got one of those too. But I did get a pretty red and white sundress for summer, and it was only $25. I also saw the prettiest red-gemstone silver ring at a really cool jewelry store in the mall, but it was $10 for one ring and I decided I shouldn't spend that much money on myself. But... PRETTY. And SHINY. I was sad. I really liked it.

-------------------------------------------------

Vivacia wasn't feeling very well, but she needed a gift for her mom, and then we had to kill time before the bus got back, so we wandered around and made Closer stand in the girlie stores like Urban Behavior, and went to the pet store the next mall over and freaked out when a bunny looked like it was dying (he was fine), until the bus came and they left, and I stuck around to meet Ryter over by iParty.

Anyway, it was fun; I've missed seeing Vivacia. There is a well-documented syndrome that says the first time a girl gets a boyfriend, she will ditch her friends for the sake of the guy until she figures out how to balance the two. I didn't have this issue with KTMack because it was summer and I wasn't doing anything and he and Vivacia both had jobs. But now Vivacia and I both have classes and finals to study for, so I'm already crazy busy, and then I spend so much time with Ryter...

The trouble with this syndrome is all romantic relationships must eventually end*, but friendships needn't. Thus one should never forget their friends for a Significant Other, and I'm only now learning to balance the whole thing.

-------------------------------------------------

Anyway, I met up with Ryter and Vivacia and Closer went home to study. We met at iParty so he could get some stuff for a class party. At about the same time I cautioned him that since he was having me spend the night at his place before his graduation, I was going to be obligated to decorate his apartment in the most gaudy, god-awful, tacky graduation-themed decorations I could find.

He is very enthusiastic about this idea.

We then went over to his car to wait for his mom. Fifteen minutes later, I met her and we went into T.G.I.Friday's for dinner. Ryter's mom is very nice, and man, can I see where Ryter gets it all. I mean, the two of them are soooo alike, even more so than Ryter and his dad. But she was cool and I got to have a decent meal, as opposed to school food.

Ryter and I hung out for a little while afterwards, but ended it earlier than usual. We were both tired. But it was a very good day, until I discovered the Chem stuff...

*We are ignoring the marriage alternative, of course. But having your spouse be your only close friend isn't that great an idea either.

"Man, I swear I thought you said 'Monogamous relationships are so hard.' I was like, nod and smile..."

Today is the second day of the Ludi Cereri.

--------------------------------

My Chemistry teacher is about ready to go postal on my class. Today the majority of the class was talking the whole time, as usual, and he was getting increasingly frustrated, as usual, and then he started layering on homework assignment after homework assignment, then he started telling us we would have to stay later (not that he could have prevented the leaving, people had a Biology test the following hour), then he finally broke down, spun around to face us, and cried, "Will you all just STOP DISRESPECTING ME?" We quieted.

"Seriously, ALL you guys do is TALK and I've just been trying to be a nice guy and make this class as easy as possible, and you have NEVER respected me. You know this class is the reason I'm quitting teaching? Just this class. I thought you should know, one of my colleagues said this was the worst class he's seen in thirty years. I wanted you to know that."

He turned to face the board, attempting to finish one last problem before we left for the weekend. The conversational murmur began to rise, and he steadily set down the chalk, slowly turned around, and said though tight lips, "You know what? Go. Just go. I'm not gonna care any more."

We left.

Man, Monday is gonna be awkward.

--------------------------------

In yoga today, the instructor randomly said we were doing partner yoga. Uh, partner yoga? Like pair off with someone and have to touch them? Not to mention that there was an even number of people, but an odd number of each gender, and I seemed like one of the only people who didn't know anyone, so I would either wind up with the thirtyish woman in the spandex blue flame pants if someone in the group had their significant other with them, or with a guy. And I would not have tolerated a GIRL touching me as I did yoga. I don't hug my friends or touch people on the arm as I talk, never mind hold their butt in place as I push on their back.

So I left as quietly as I could. Well, not so much "left" as "fled." Hopefully no one noticed... well, except whoever wound up partnered with the instructor because of me...

--------------------------------

Meanwhile I was all set for a Friday night spent talking for a bit with Mistake (Vivacia? I haven't decided), then doing some homework, finishing up my Adventures of the S-Team Submission contest submission and going to bed early, because Ryter was in Massachusetts seeing some movie about anthropomorphic food fighting subway bombs or something. Got the first done, at least, but I was working on my submission when there was a knock on my door. Surprised, I went over and opened it.

It was Ryter, back from Mass and stopping by after dropping off his movie buddy.

So me being sans makeup, with my hair a mess all over the place, wearing junky comfortable clothes, and having barely cleaned my room (I just made it tolerable before Mistake came, not really clean)? That was a problem.

I mean, yeah, like, he didn't seem to mind and he said I looked beautiful anyway, and he'd probably have to see me looking less-than-best eventually, but I check the hall before going to the bathroom in my PJ's and robe to make sure there aren't any males wandering around in the morning.

I am not so good with the surprise visits.

"Special treat: SEA URCHIN SEX!"*

Today is a day sacred to Fortuna Primigenia, the goddess of luck. "Primigenia" is a title meaning "First-bearer."

-----------------------------

Mistake has given up her blog, I'm sad to say, so it's out of the blogroll. Now I'm trying to decide if I want to change her name here. I never liked the name "Mistake" for her because it always makes me feel like I'm saying she is a mistake. I only had it because she picked it out, because of some country song she likes or something, I can't remember her whole explanation.

So, possible names for her include:

-Translating her chosen name into Latin so I don't feel as bad about it: Mendosa. Con: It can also mean "bumbling."

-Amicula: means "dear friend."

-Nessecituda or Propriora: The first is a bit long, but both mean "friend so close she's practically related."

-Vivacia or Vivaxia, meaning "enduring," like our friendship, or "lively" like the friend herself.

Which do you prefer?

(Closer is also off the blogroll because he NEVER POSTS. But his name doesn't really bother me as much. Maybe I'll change his name to Suavidicus or Suavis because it's really funny to imagine Closer as being suave, but it actually means "sweet" or "sweet-talker.")

-----------------------------

My life has been rather crazy lately, and as evidence, I offer you last night, when I got to bed at 2:30 AM after running around doing a Chem quiz online (Blackboard, of course, was not functioning on my computer), and completing my Bio lab notebook for turning in today. I was so tired this morning that I barely stayed conscious in Chemistry and then took a nap afterwards, and missed yoga because of it.

Oh well. It's over now, the rest of the week shouldn't be so bad.

-----------------------------

My Biology professor offered us a choice of final grades for lab. Option A, a standard lab practical; B, a group project going over everything we've learned in lab. Facing the prospect of yet ANOTHER test we went with the group project. After a long discussion in which the loudest or most obnoxious types (Incredibly Hot Guy-- I've found being in a relationship to be an excellent way for me to notice when guys are actually very bossy and domineering) dominated, tempered slightly by the "Take-Charge Young Female Leaders" and Flirts With TAs, who was at least trying to make sure the quieter girls in the back got a word in edgewise on the matter.

Flirts with TAs has a mohawk. This makes me want so much to giggle at him but he was the only one of the leaders who actually let me talk so I felt bad about it.

Anyway, long story short, I am going to be a VH1 host on a segment entitled "Top Five Worst Reality TV Shows." The entries include such gems as "America's Next Top Algae" and "Survivor: Chordata." I believe one entry will involve Flirts With TAs and Incredibly Hot Guy hitting on the professor while discussing angiosperm versus gymnosperm reproduction.**

It will be awesome.

*Professor: I'm sorry, the sea urchin sex demonstration has to be postponed. Dr. Walker hopes that next week he can coax them into giving you little demonstration but it seems that while the males are ready and rarin' to go, the females are a bit reluctant.

[long pause]

Incredibly Hot (Bossy) Guy: Wait, how is that abnormal?

**Angiosperms are flowering plants. Gymnosperms are things like pines without flowers.

Like, totally, dude

Day of rest for all those poor castrated dudes, today, so no festivities on the Roman front.

-------------------------

I am going crazy; my brain is in Chemistry overload. So instead of an actual entry, I give you snippets of my day:

"Hey, we told [the Latin professor] that we didn't understand conditionals to try to get him off topic, because none of us did the translation, okay?"

"Hey, nice pistons!"

"I wish they wouldn't leave that cherry picker sitting out there after they finished trimming the tree branches. Besides the creepy factor of it being at the perfect height to look through the 4th floor windows it's also making me want so, so much to ride in it."

I Date Like a Man

According to studies on dating, I date like a man. I date casually and frequently, getting serious with select people over time. Physical attraction and chemistry is very important to me. And if there's nothing more than a physical connection, that's okay with me (at least for a while). I am definitely looking for love, but I am in no rush to find it. I figure love will eventually come my way, and I'm not going to live like a monk while I'm waiting!

Do You Date Like a Man or a Woman?

Steve Isn't Allowed To Share Dreams Any More

Happy Hilaria, all. This is a continuation of the festival of Attis and Cybele. Today, the pine tree of Attis would have been uncovered and erected in the forum, and decorated (*cough*christmas*cough*). There would be a sacramental meal and much joy and feasting.

The poor schmucks who castrated themselves yesterday dress in women's clothing and wear perfume, too.

------------------------

I did my kinorhyncha project today, and went to the review. I feel a little better about this Chem test having gone, because my professor made it seem a lot less scary and impossible.

Incidentally, he also mentioned that he'd spoken to the sub we had a few weeks back. That professor described the 10 AM Chem class as, and I quote, "the worst class I have ever had to teach in my thirty years as a professor."

Niiiiiiiiiice.

------------------------

I have decided, in the least creepy and most hypothetical sense possible, that Writer Guy and I should never, ever have children. Why? This conversation:

WriterGuy: The name Nikephoros pops up a lot [in Byzantine history], too.
Basiorana: ...I now know what I want to name my firstborn son.
Basiorana: (it is a male name?)
WriterGuy: Nikephoros is a male name.
Basiorana: And it is an awesome one.
WriterGuy: Nikephoros Phokas was a great general and Emperor.
WriterGuy: I like Andronikos, too.
Basiorana: Plus, they can totally be shortened to Nick and Andy so it's not like the child will need therapy on the basis of the moniker!
WriterGuy: I still say Constantine is a badass name.
Basiorana: It is badass, mostly because of Constantine from the movies who fought demons, but I bet it would become Connie.
Basiorana: And Connie is a bit effeminate.
WriterGuy: Mm. Damn.
WriterGuy: Nikephoros though has a nice ring to it.
Basiorana: I'd totally name a kid Clytemnestra if I didn't think the namesake was a bad omen.
WriterGuy: Clytemnestra unfortunately sounds like a venereal disease.
Basiorana: It does?
Basiorana: Never mind.
WriterGuy: What about naming my kid Lord Zarkon the Unholy [His Last Name]?
Basiorana: I knew a kid named Lord once.
Basiorana: You would naturally have to push for "Zarkon" to be the main name.
Basiorana: I was thinking Zanthar Lord Of the Universe had a nice ring.
WriterGuy: What about "Lothar of the Hill People?"
Basiorana: Hill People = Hillbillies.
Basiorana: She-Ra Queen of Amazonia.
WriterGuy: Lord General Supreme Commander Kahless the Immortal.
Basiorana: Xanthu Destroyer of Worlds.
WriterGuy: I can't believe it's not.
WriterGuy: As in "I Can't Believe It's Not [His Last Name]."
Basiorana: Oooo... cruel and unusual.
WriterGuy: Michael Hunt is still one of my favorites. [Think about it... Mike...]
Basiorana: Ty Barrette was a bad one.
WriterGuy: Theoretically there could be a Korean named Fakk Yu.
Basiorana: There probably is, it doesn't mean the same thing there.
WriterGuy: There was some show on Comedy Central a few years ago that did a thing on this.
Basiorana: Parents who hate their children?
WriterGuy: Really horrible names.
Basiorana: To-may-to, to-mah-to.

"You Will Be Awarded A Great Honor"

Note to self: Chapstick in the purse is useless if the purse is across the room. Next time, pockets. That's what they're there for.

Note to guys: Come on. Either make up your mind to grow a beard, and warn us that you're going to do so, or shave.

I have flowers! Longer-lasting than cut ones, too. It's a petunia plant. I think. Anyway, it's very cute and going on my windowsill, as soon as I clear off said windowsill's various cluttering junk.

In case you can't tell, I lose coherency at about 1 AM, which is why I would like to point out the stupidity of my going over to submit my Chem quiz at that ungodly hour last night at the computer lounge because they had Blackboard access, I was just denied it. I got a 50. Whatever. It was 1:30 in the morning and I had to walk by two people necking under a street lamp in order to submit the damn thing. Then I woke up this morning and realized it wasn't even due until 5 PM today (okay, technically this happened yesterday, but you get the idea) and I was about ready to punch something.

Plus spring is in the air, which means the weather is nice and we got to have Latin class outside today (was wearing my hair down, so the wind was rather disastrous for vision), and I didn't have to wear a coat, but at the same time, young men's fancies, and it means that the streetlight snoggers were only one of several couples I've seen making out in public forums (public being the key word here, I don't care what people do as long as I don't have to watch it).

You know what? I'm tired. Read about extreme ironing.

"Bring something up from the back burner."

My sister is to be a bridesmaid at a friend's wedding. This is most likely going to involve a dress. Specifically, Shrewd in a dress. Maybe even heels. And a bridesmaid's dress, at that, which are notoriously bad...

Bwahahahaha! Schadenfreude!

But only because it's Shrewd, and she has a tendency to say my Facebook profile pictures look deformed. Or my face looks deformed. She didn't specify her meaning. After her complaints about my most recent change I was considering just giving up and sketching myself, but I've since had two boys tell me the most recent "deformed" image was perfectly fine, so I stick out my tongue in her general direction and I'll put the new one back up tomorrow.

-----------------------

Chemistry is killing me, but meh. I'm used to it. I'm also dying slowly as a result of my brain slowly liquefying and escaping though my nose. It's also possible that I have a cold, but I find it hard to believe I have this much fluid in my head without some of it being part of my gray matter, dissolving due to the close proximity to Spring Break.

The violent sneezing is no doubt helping the liquefication process, through repeated banging of the brain against the inside of my skull. I normally sneeze an average of 5 times in a row, but if I have a cold it's upped to like ten, and each sneeze brings tears to my eyes and nearly knocks me out of the chair.

I'm sure I look real attractive right now, bleary-eyed and drippy with a big ol' red nose...

And I'm really tired, too, because I haven't been getting enough sleep and I'm sick. I slept through the first half of a lecture today, which wouldn't be so abnormal if it wasn't at 6 pm...

Speaking of that lecture, here's today's Bad Typing Error Of The Day: "Have Faith! If I can do you, anyone can!"

I Am A Romantic Realist

I tend to be grounded when it comes to romance. Sure, I can fall hard... but only for someone I've gotten to know. And once I'm in love, I can be a total romantic goofball... But I'd never admit it to my friends!

Are You Romantic or Realistic?

"Hallelujah!"*

A week ago, I forgot to turn in my CPR assignment, which is just writing an essay for Chemistry on Chemistry-related topics. But I figured, okay, that part's lost, but there's a second part, where you analyze other people's submissions to mirror the peer-review . I can do that, and get some credit.

But no.

Turns out you can't move on past the text entry portion unless you enter text. But you can't enter text past the initial "text entry" stage. So basically I missed one deadline and I get no credit.

Oh well. It's only 5% of my grade, I think, and there will be three more this semester, so I lost 1.7% of my grade. Gasp. Oh no. How terrible.

------------------

I currently have some of the weirdest music in the universe in my iTunes Library. Wait, that's not true. It's not like, Vogon or something. But it is music from a concept album about the Biblical Flood, done in restructured folk songs set to heavy metal tunes. It is done in Latin, Arabic, Hebrew and English. There is a guy who growls. He may or may not be making words as he does.

I actually like some of it, with the minimal growling, which surprised me as I didn't think I'd like heavy metal Hebrew. I mean, not that I ever sat down and thought, "Hmm, I don't think like Hebrew folk songs growled out to heavy-metal rock music," but still, not the sort of thing that you think you'll enjoy when you listen to Jason Mraz and Trace Adkins.

In case you're wondering, Writer Guy sent it to me. I didn't seek it out. I'm not that weird. Apparently, though, he is. Which is kinda cool.

My Personality Is Like Acid

A bit wacky, I'm very difficult to predict. One moment I'm in my own little happy universe... And the next, I'm on a bad trip to my own personal hell!

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

*Legit. That was my fortune today. How weird is that?

"The greatest danger could be your stupidity."

Some cool new links! Cute Jewess is a blog all about dating and life in general; more single-girl antics over at This Fish Needs A Bicycle. For weird stories, gadgets, and random stuff, check out Odd Planet; and for a mildly disturbing and yet often hilarious view of what college would be like if I went to LMU and if I wasn't... well... me, there's You Are Sketch. Check 'em out!

--------------------

Most of today was devoted to my Chemistry paper, which was miserable, on account of it being a four person project that I basically did alone. I didn't do all the research, but I was doing all the writing... Maritima sent her section, and was helping me, but one of the other girls sent me one sentence and the other waited until an hour before the class started to send her part. Grr. I did have time to do some last-minute English homework, though, which was good because it was already a day late.

-------------------

I went to the "Secrets" show put up by Christian Impact with Loquatia. Basically everyone's been writing secrets on little cards and putting a picture with them, and the end result gets put up in this gallery f secrets. It's all anonymous, of course. I'd say the most common secrets were:

-like to sleep naked (uhm, yeah, why is that a secret? who cares?)
-wish that someone thought they were beautiful
-masturbate
-doubt the existence of God/doubt their faith

But there were some that were less common, like liking it when a relative touched them inappropriately or told someone they were Christian to get into their pants. I'd guess the most common was the wanting to feel beautiful, though. I can understand that sentiment, I was going to do it myself except it's not really a secret that I want to feel beautiful. I don't have many secrets, and the ones I do have are scary enough that I refuse to admit them even to myself.

After we saw the gallery, Loquatia introduced me to her CI friends. Everyone was really nice, though I was still uncomfortable because they were people, after all (Some were boys, too, compounding the problem). It's mildly depressing to hang out with CI kids though because it kinda just reminds me that there is a definite social circle that you can get though being part of a religion-- any religion, just not Christianity-- and those are the people that are nice, clean-cut, and friendly. Well, usually. It kind of makes me sad that I won't really ever have that kind of social network that Christian, Jewish, and, in certain areas, Muslim people have just for being involved in their faith.

Oh well. It's kinda hard to join a group called "Christian Impact" if you aren't Christian and half the time you don't even like their impact.

-------------------

Ugh. I promised my RA that I'd write about a "defining moment" in my life for the next issue of our bathroom newspaper, the Hub'Bub. Alas, it appears that my life is ill-defined, as I can't come up with a single moment that doesn't involve talking about my depression. It appears I am not defined by happy moments. I don't know if he wants me to do something upbeat or if talking about depression is okay, but even then, chances are this is going to be the first time most of these people even hear (er, read) my name. Do I really want anyone to associate me with depression?

I think I might want to do when I overcame my fear of death. Does that sound defining?

How I Am In Love

I take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time. I give completely and unconditionally in relationships. I tend to get very attached when I'm with someone. I want to see my love all the time. I love my partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. I stay in love for a long time, even if I'm not loved back. When I fall, I fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

"Romance comes into your life this year in a very unusual sort of way."

I was all set to do absolutely nothing today, but you know, nothing is reeeeeeeeally boring. Luckily, I was trying to decide between actually studying (a sure sign of true boredom) and just playing another rousing game of Age of Empires when Mummy and Daddy called and asked if I would mind them visiting. Choosing between boredom and a seafood dinner at Newick's? Is there a choice here?

In addition to seafood, I got to replace my mood ring-- the one I lost at work over break. I got the original at the Newick's gift shop, so that's where I replaced it. Then, as we went to pick up some more Basiorana Fuel (that's diet caffeine-free coke for you laypeople), Mummy got me some V-Day flowers, and then when I showed her my new room-- she hadn't seen it since we moved stuff around and put the rug in-- she gave me a little stuffed Snoopy holding a box of candy, and there was a little Woodstock with candy for Loquatia.

It's always nice to know that even when you're out of the house, you can still count on your mom to be your valentine.

-----------------------

I saw my old Chemistry teacher from high school today. That was weird. There's some big swim meet going on here at UNH today, and she's the coach of the high school swim team, so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. But you know that weird feeling you get when you see someone you know completely out of context? Like, "I know you-- but why are you here?"

I believe my words were "It's Miss E---!" To which she replied, "It's [Basiorana]!" That naturally only increased my surprise as I really wasn't expecting her to remember my name. I mean, I watched the class fish for the summer (she has cats) and didn't kill it, but meh, I'm always stunned when people remember my name. My mom greets me and I'm like, Whoa, she didn't forget!

I then proceeded to scan her accompanying groupies for someone I recognized, but no luck. Bummer. Not that I actually expected to know anyone on the swim team.

I Am More Yin

Feminine, Devoted, Passive, and Forgiving This is the darker element; it is dark, downward-seeking, and corresponds to the night.

Are You More Yin or Yang?

"You Cannot Manage Men In Battle. You Manage Things, You Lead People"

Today is the Kalends Februarius, the first of the month of February. The entire month is sacred to Juno/Hera, and today was specifically the feast of Junoni Sospitae Matri Reginae, the first part of which means "Juno the Savior" and the second part refers to mothers and queens, but I don't feel like actually figuring out the exact wording of a translation. Suffice it to say it's a day honoring Juno.

----------------

Now, kids, it's time for...

THE ADVENTURES OF MARCUS
our grammatical friend

It was shaping up to be a bad week for Marcus, the hero of my weekly grammar exercises, as we're studying the Imperative. He was thus hopelessly bossed about. First he had to stay, not go; then there was the issue with not listening, and he had to be reprimanded; finally he was told a secret, but he couldn't tell the consul. Frustrating!

Then I figured out that I'd been translating the wrong set of sentances, and Marcus wasn't even in the set of incomplete phrases that I had to finish. I was rather frustrated-- I'd finished the whole thing! but Marcus gets the week off, at least.

Tune in next Thursday for more ADVENTURES OF MARCUS!

----------------

I ate dinner with Mistake and another girl on her floor, who has the prettiest long, red hair you could imagine. Loquatia was going to eat with us, but she didn't realize that I was planning on walking over like... twenty minutes early... so she missed us. Oh well. Loquatia has actual social skills (they aren't fabulous, but they're there), so she's known for wandering around and asking people from Christian Impact, tennis, or her classes to go eat with her.

----------------

Oh, and I finally got the counselor who leads the communication group to agree to be my reference, so the RA application's done and will be submitted tomorrow, as soon as Mistake shows me where the heck I'm supposed to bring it. Hopefully I get the job.

----------------

Part of my Chemistry grade this semester involves "PLTL," "Peer-Led Team Learning." This is basically an excuse to make us think about chemistry when he's not around. We meet once a week for an hour and a half (like I have room in my schedule at this point-- it was so clear, then I added yoga, group therapy, regular therapy, three to four hours of dance and that health care seminar group...) and review the classwork with a student who did well in the class last year.

I know more than the leader.

And I sleep through the class.

Well, technically the problem is that I think faster than the other girls in the group, and come to the conclusion and want to move on in the review, and don't want to have to wait for them to catch up and come to the conclusion for themselves. I'm not allowed to just tell them the answer, which is what I always want to do, because I want to move on.

I am what they call "not a team player." Of course, it didn't help that I was completely unable to sit still for the session, so I probably looked like I was about ready to spaz out and kill them all. Makes it hard to concentrate, fearing for your life.

----------------

Speaking of spazzing out and killing them all, that's what I believe I will do to the guys next door if I hear them say "lol" one more time, or "brb," "lmao," or "ttyl." I honestly prefer the swearing to the internet jargon. It sounds so stupid!

Though I admit, I'd like to be able to study without hearing, "F--- that, b----, no way that h- wouldn't get blasted by that f------ grenade, it f------ went off right in front of her!"

Heck, I'd like them to say one sentence I don't have to bleep out...

"You are a Person of Culture, Cultivate It"

It's the festival of Hecate At the Crossroads, today. You may have heard of Hecate, but if you have, it's probably as the witch-goddess because that's how disaffected Hellenistic Neopagan teenagers like to see her, so they can call her their patron goddess and dress all in black and pretend to communicate with the dead. Or maybe you've just read Shakespeare's Macbeth. But in reality, while she was goddess of witchcraft and necromancy, that wasn't the most important aspect of her.

As goddess of crossroads, Hecate was depicted as having three faces- a young woman's, a middle-aged woman's, and an old woman's. Three masks would be placed on a pole at the crossroad (a Y-intersection) so each faced a different direction. This festival honored that aspect of the goddess-- as a deity of the wilderness and untamed areas. Travelers left her food as offerings to ensure safe passage through dangerous areas-- especially women who were traveling alone.

If you go onto Hellenismos discussion boards talking about who people feel is their patron god or goddess, a lot of people claim Hecate. This amuses me because half of them haven't a clue what she's about except that the witchcraft connection will annoy their parents.

--------------------

Last night at lab I switched partners, but I swear it wasn't because the girls kicked me out. My new lab partner just joined the class and she knew me from Classical Mythology last semester. I'll mention her enough to name her, I guess... Her name will be Maritima ("Of the sea," because she's studying marine biology). Anyway, the lab thing worked out anyway, for last week-- turns out the group section of the lab wasn't that big a deal.

In other lab news, turns out I don't have to worry about lab reports for Biology. You have no idea how happy I was when I learned this. I was dancing. On the inside, because I was in Chem lab.

--------------------

Today's Bio lab took forever. I was so proud that I left yoga early enough to get there on time, with enough time to make sure I looked reasonably presentable and didn't smell (which meant five minutes early). But then I was looking at bacteria and protists for hours and I had to squeeze the wood-digesting bacteria out of a termite's butt, and the first time I didn't do it right and the second time I squeezed too hard, killed it, and still didn't do it right, so the professor had to do it for me on account of my lab partner being adverse to the squeezing of termites. The professor didn't even try to be humane, like I had been- he just disemboweled the little bug and tossed him aside, without even crushing his head so he'd die fast. And the professor didn't even do it quickly enough! Termite butt bacteria-- which, in case you're curious, are the things that make it possible for termites to digest wood-- can't survive long exposed to oxygen, and he waited too long before he put the cover slip on so the bacteria was dead anyway. I mean, we saw them, but not for very long.

Plus Maritima, who is also in Bio, was asking for a partner for this project we're doing on phyla, and I thought to myself, "I'd love to, as long as we aren't expected to work with our regular lab partners" but it came out as "Well, uhm, okay, but I have to, uhm, ch-check with my lab partner, but if she doesn't, like-- if she doesn't want to work with me, then I-- I mean, I guess..."

At that, she said, "Oh, okay, it's cool," and then another guy came up behind us and said, "Maritima, I don't have a partner for the project" (except he used her real name). So she partnered with him, on account of his actually being able to talk correctly, and then I learned that my lab partner already had a project partner and I would up having to wait around until everyone else partnered off. Luckily the girl who wound up without a partner was my lab partner last semester, so it's not a total stranger. Or a guy.

I really do talk like that, by the way. And Maritima's a girl, so it's not just guys that make me stammer. If I don't know someone, or I only know them a little, or I feel uncomfortable around them for any reason, it comes out peppered with "uhms" and half-finished sentences trailing off into new phrases. I basically have to have my words prepared ahead of time, in my head at least.

I wasn't exactly expecting Maritima to ask me to work with her right after she asked Incredibly Hot Guy (who's best friend, Flirts With TAs, is in the class so he had a partner already). I mean, like, hell of a comedown. Thus, I was hopelessly unprepared.

---------------------

Anyway, lab had plenty of awkwardness, for me, and it let out at 4:45, giving me fifteen minutes to run back to my dorm, get my personal statement for the Healthcare seminar thing, and run back to Dimond Library for the 5:00 meeting. Then I read my stupid personal statement on "Why I want to be a doctor--" you know, I had the worst trouble writing that, because I honestly haven't a clue why I want to be a doctor. But that's an issue for another day. I spouted off something about fascination with human physiology that made me sound cold and a great deal like Dr. House, and then ran back here at 5:30 to quickly change my shirt and go to dinner with Loquatia before swing class.

I was tired and under dressed-- I was still wearing workout pants and I'd just thrown on a T-shirt in my rush, and everyone else looked like they were going to class-- when I got to Swing, and emotionally, I was completely frazzled. Add in the fact that this week, the numbers of attractive guys without pre-determined dance partners (I don't know if they were single-- but they didn't have dance partners) was double last week's number and that we were learning new steps very quickly, and you have me stammering and stumbling around for an hour, watching the clock and wishing my hands weren't sweating so much.

Great.

----------------------

What is it about Wednesdays? They sucked last semester, too.

My Social Anxiety Level: 68%

"You have high social anxiety. You have a pretty serious social phobia, and it effects your life more than you may realize. It's possible that you've made yourself comfortable by avoiding situations you dread. But don't be fooled - you still probably need professional help." Yeah, well, tell me something I don't know...

Are You Socially Anxious?

"You Will Come To Realizations In Your Life That Change You Forever"

Do you have any idea how hard it is to contact your lab partners and apologize for flaking on them when all you have is one girl's first name-- no last name, no name at all for the other girl-- which you aren't even positive about, and the vague idea that one or the other lives in Scott Hall?

And when the girl whose name you might know is not on Facebook, which as how I solved this problem last semester (though admittedly then I knew the full name of my classmate)?

I find the fact that I was able to locate her email address and her phone number to be extremely impressive (and, quite honestly, creepy in the "how easy would it be to stalk someone?" sense). At least, I hope it's hers. I wasn't positive about the name and there are two girls by that name in that lab period, though the other girl is on Facebook and I can tell by her picture that it's not the one I'm looking for.

I am an idiot. But I am the MASTER of internet manipulation.

--------------------

Isoamyl acetate TOTALLY smells like banana!

I said it smelled like banana in Chem lab, when we were trying to tell what things smell like. But both the other girls smelled nail polish remover, so I let them have the majority. But turns out that the bottle next to the banana oil contained ethyl acetate-- the scent-producing chemical in nail polish remover-- so that's what they were smelling, and they totally thought that that one smelled like sweat when I was guessing something sharper and more acidic- like remover.

See, my nose is pretty damn strong. I also picked up on the similarities between the floral chypre scent of 2-methylundecanal and the spicy floral scent of linalool, and I didn't confuse "cigarette smoke" with "sweat and chocolate," either. Plus I could tell the difference between R-carvone, which smells like spearmint, and S-carvone, which smells like caraway. But the banana one was really bugging me, because I knew, so clearly, that I had smelled banana, and I couldn't understand why they thought it was nail polish remover.

---------------------

Daddy called me this morning to tell me, very excitedly, that he had recieved a notice from the school congratulating me on making highest honors. I reminded him that with a 3.91 GPA I'd've been stunned if I hadn't made them. Still, he was very excited, much more excited than I was about the whole affair. Getting straight As was a lot more exciting before I realized that Daddy will expect this next semester, and the semester after that-- and that if I maintain these grades though all of college, it basically means that I will continue to have no social life.

Great.

I Should Rule Saturn

Saturn is a mysterious planet that can rarely be seen with the naked eye. I'm perfect to rule Saturn because like its rings, I don't always follow the rules of nature. An abomination of nature, if you will. And like Saturn, to really be able to understand me, someone must delve beyond my appearance. Which, if you've been paying attention, is completely unnatural. I am not an easy person to befriend. Unless you actually like, tried. However, once I enter a friendship, I'll be a friend for life. Unless I get screwed over really, really badly. I think slowly but deeply. I only gain great understanding after a situation has past.

What Planet Should You Rule?

I'm sure in 1985, plutonium is available at every corner drugstore

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

That might be because they couldn't reserve a room in the Bowels of Hell on such short notice, but meh.

I think I at least will not have to retake the entire course. This is good.

------------------------

I was going to go to the review session last night, but one of the TAs, an older graduate student who used to teach high school, was running it. After the first half-hour, I realized he was still talking about "positive study skills," the major one being "start studying well in advance."

Uhm... this was the night before the exam. And the UN's been cracking down on the unauthorized use of plutonium in my DeLorian.

Anyway, I left that review, and studied on my own until the Chem fraternity's tutoring session. That was a bit more helpful, I'd say. Except the guy helping me was cute, and consequently distracting. But I was proud of myself, because I stayed mostly focused and there were only five babble-moments when I couldn't get my mouth to work right.

Anyway, I went to bed really early- 9:30- on account of having to wake up at the ungodly hour of 6 AM to shower/dress/eat/panic before the test at 8. It's weird getting up that early, because no one else does; the halls are empty and silent. The halls aren't even empty and silent at 1 AM around here. I was first into the shower; this wasn't actually a good thing, because it's not like it's been cleaned since November anyway and the water was COLD even though it was the shower that normally scalds me. I had to let it run for like five minutes.

I think I impressed Loquatia with my ability to get up that early. She was definitely expecting me to hit the snooze until at least 7. She doesn't believe me when I tell her I used to get up at 5:30 every morning for high school, and have not always been the lazy slug-a-bed she knows now.

-----------------------

I'm beginning to wonder if I'm in the wrong major. No, I haven't been listening to my mother, you'll know when that happens because you'll start hearing news reports of ham and feathers on plane windshields. No, I have decided this because I was studying Chemistry, specifically tetrahedral-shaped molecules, and all I could think of was the ancient weaponry that they used to throw down in front of war horses- the kind where a spike would always point up, and the horse would step on it and be unable to continue. Please compare:



And while this helps me remember tetrahedral shape, if you can't study Chemistry without thinking of ancient weaponry, it might indicate an underlying problem. Oh well. I don't intend on majoring in something useless, like history- that's what minors are for.

(This explanation always irritates my English-major mother and German-major father, which is why I say it so much. Mind you, they're both computer programmers, thus proving my point.)

-----------------------

Okay, I have issues coping with stress, of any kind. My grandmother's the same way, as is my mom. We all developed our own way of dealing with it- my grandmother tries to be strong for everyone else and confides in her sisters, my mother bottles it up inside, and I used to hurt myself or loose myself in a fantasy world. Now, I still use the fantasy world more than I should, but I talk about problems, or write about them. I share them. And since I've learned to handle stressors, mostly through communicating and complaining, and trying to find productive ways to solve my problems, I no longer need to be medicated.

But the thing is, this approach I have makes me see the world of blogging/journaling a little differently. There's this site, Trainwreck, that chronicles the worst blogs and journals on the internet- the mommy blogs, the self-involved-my-life-sucks journals, and the people whose lives are trainwrecks- so bad you can't look away. Normally I totally agree with them 100%, these people are losers. BUT. There's this mommy-blogger who's been on it a lot for bragging about her "incredibly precocious" kid, and she was up on it again- but this time they were ragging on her for complaining about her new kitchen not being all she'd hoped for, when she posted pictures and it's a pretty sweet arrangement. One commenter complained: "[B]ut [I] have to tell you, you complain a lot for having such a BITCHIN’ KITCHEN! B-I-T-C-H-I-N. and [I] can say that, because [I]’m from the 80’s. But what most disturbs me, is that you have so much (healthy, intelligent son, nice husband, nice standard of living) [and yet] you rant so much. And the things you rant about are that you’re son is so smart,(though you’re really humble) is beyond his grade level in intelligence, and that you have this new kitchen you didn’t [initially] want that you have (Sweet Jesus! You have a Wolf range, for Christ sake! AAAAAAAAhhhhhhhh!). ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! If you weren’t so spot on on most issues, [I] would just hate myself for reading this blog! [I] kind of feel that you don’t have a grasp on world issues and what’s going on around us ([A]fghanistan, [D]arfur, etc)."

Uhm, yeah. Okay. So she's a little self-involved. So she complains. But we can't all think about the horrors of Darfur and the civil unrest in Afghanistan all the time. How many times have I talked about Afghanistan? I mean, that doesn't make me less of a person, I just a)don't want to insult anyone by sharing my most likely naive views of the world, and b) have other, more immediate concerns.

Because Darfur is horrible and I'd love to do something to help, but let's face it, it doesn't affect my everyday life. I will wake up tomorrow and I will think about packing to go home, and my mythology test, and the final paper on x-ray crystallography I need two more pages on before Sunday. I'm not going to think about genocide (Probably. Never know). That's not because I "don't have a grasp on world issues." It's just because that's not my life. And I have a pretty wonderful life, I mean, I have problems, but I'm from a well-off family and I never really lack anything I need. I've been sheltered from the world's problems due to location and my community, and I have a wonderful family and a nice standard of living. So... I can't complain? I'm supposed to take all those little things that bug me and bottle them up inside? The whole point of having a journal and a blog is to be able to share the things that are weighing on my mind without needing an actual confidante, who I'd have to like, rope and tie and hide in my closet next to that cowboy I caught my sister for Christmas (oops).

So I won't read that blog because I think she's insufferably proud of her kid, who seems pretty average, maybe a little smart. But I still think that it's unfair to criticize her for complaining, no matter how well-off she is.

-----------------------

I know it's supposed to be embarrassing to wind up as a trainwreck, but if I ever wind up there, I think I'd have to be kinda proud that they thought I sucked that much. Besides, I'd probably get a lot of readers that way. Even if they are laughing at me, not with me.

-----------------------

But there was a paper thing I was supposed to be working on... and a test tomorrow... and I guess I'm supposed to go contemplate mass genocide for a while, too...

Snow Dance Time

So I've been informed that the airport is NOT a place to go canoodle, since the cops drive by a lot. I was then informed that it IS, by two sources, which outnumbers the one that said it wasn't. This, while interesting, is actually somewhat irrelevant, since The Brother is not nearly as dumb as I was implying in last night's post. Sorry to anyone who took me seriously. I forget that some things don't translate as well into print as they should.

I don't know The Brother's girlfriend really well, though I do know her and we hung out and talked before school when I took the bus in. I know that she seemed quiet and reserved, at least around me, but nice. She used to complain about The Brother sitting behind her on the band bus and drumming/kicking her seat/sticking stuff in her hair/tapping her on the shoulder and pretending to have done nothing, then giggling when she turned back around. This is why I was somewhat surprised to learn they were dating.

I didn't mean to paint a negative image of this girl; like I said, she's a nice kid. Good people. If I did, I'm sorry. I was making fun of my brother, not her. Even if I don't know for sure what she would do in a parked car, I do know that my brother is reserved enough to not do anything, and from what I know of her, she would be the same way. They strike me as weird enough to sit out in a car and look at planes for fun.

Even though neither she nor my brother will likely ever read this, I figured when I saw a comment posted by "anonymous," the world's most prolific writer, which seemed to indicate that I was taken a bit more seriously than I had intended, that I should clear that up, lest I spread false ideas.

-----------------------------

Okay, retraction over... I think I will recover from the crushing disappointment of Theoi.com closing down. I have a startling amount recorded on my computer, and though I don't list sources, it should be enough to know the characters at least. The rest will take a little extra research, but the Perseus Project at Tufts has information on the myths themselves, and I might actually open a book at some point. Or maybe not. That's a big step for me.

-----------------------------

My Chemistry teacher is proof that some teachers actually do hate certain students. Question Girl, the girl who asks the world's stupidest questions, rather than pay attention today, was reading a text for another class- AGAIN. When the professor noticed this, he rolled his eyes and pantomimed- silently- stamping his foot and swearing profusely. She didn't notice. Then she fell asleep. This did not improve his negative mood. We were all giggling...

-----------------------------

It snowed today, but nothing stuck. That was mildly disappointing. And it won't snow again until Wednesday of next week, when the snow shall be mixed with rain, freezing rain, and sleet. Oh, joy. But luckily MY dining hall, the one that's a five second walk away, is open...

They think it'll snow and sleet again on the 15th, sleet on the 17th, rain on the 18th to get rid of the remaining snow, then that rain will freeze on surfaces. Wow. Incredible.

I WANT SNOW! I'd snow dance, but poor Chione (goddess of snow) would put out her eyes at the sight....

-----------------------------

Study time.

Added later: Just got the following email:

Hi Zenny,

I've put the site back online. Some people have suggested it might have been hacked, and malicious content added or diverts to dubious websites which prompted the google ban. If you browse through it and come across anything unusual please let me know.

Thanks for the really nice email. Nice to know the site's appreciated!

Cheers,

Aaron
Theoi.com

This makes me SO HAPPY YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE IT. I am happy-dancing in my mind.

They Were Out Of Fortune Cookies. It Was Sad.

It's just another Mercatus day on the Roman-holiday front. Don't worry, there's some good holidays later this week. Of course, those of you using the holidays to get out of class/work/whatever will ask, "Gee, what good is that? Thanksgiving is this week, anyway!" But oh well. Sorry 'bout that.

----------------------

My Chemistry professor, a fairly young man for whom this is his first semester both teaching, and out of graduate school, came to class with a baseball cap this morning; this was not particularly out of the ordinary, despite it's dorky backwards status, as he tends to dress on the "youthful" side. Nevertheless, the reason for the hat quickly became apparent to those of us in the front row, as bits of black hair were peeping out from under it.

Last Friday, he was a blond.

So the truth was gradually teased out of him (oo, double entendre!); there had been a bit of an accident involving hair dye, you see. He wasn't very specific. But judging by his Facebook pictures, and what I can derive as the usual weekend proceedings for this man, I have this to say:

Learn from this story, kids. Never drink and dye.

---------------------

In other news, I managed to finagle my schedule so as to have no classes on Wednesday, and I'm going home tomorrow. This means that technically I could go home with Make A Mistake and her dad at 8:30 pm tonight, if we could work it out; however, that's like five hours after my last class and Closer's going too, so the car might be a bit cramped. Instead, my daddy's picking me up somewhere between 3:00 and 5:00, depending on when his car tuneup is over.

The Shrewd One, my sister, shall be retrieved on Wednesday. My grandfather is arriving on Wednesday or Thursday. Then there shall be turkey. Much turkey.

---------------------

I'm going to be having clothing issues tomorrow, I know it. We're still conserving water here, as a part of a competition to see which dorm can be the most energy-efficient, and I figured I should wait until I get home before I clean the laundry. This is especially true because I think my dorm's winning, and we get a pizza party.

Never say no to free food, unless it's in the hands of a creepy leering guy or it's cafeteria food.

Anyway, the issue arises in that I have no socks and no clean pants. So I guess I'll smell tomorrow.

---------------------

Speaking of which, a girl I know was sitting by me in class today and OH MY GOD HER BREATH SMELLED SO BAD. It was like she hadn't brushed in FOREVER. But I couldn't figure out how to discreetly like, offer her mint gum or something, because I had just put mine in as she sat down, so it would invovle throwing out perfectly good gum on the pretense of it being too "stale" and then getting a new piece and offering one to her. And then I would have had to press the issue if she'd refused... So I tried not to breath in when she talked. But honestly, what do you DO in that situation?

---------------------

My friend Libentra (I guess I can call her that; we have almost all the same classes and consequently eat together and do homework together a lot, and I think she's introduced me as her friend once or twice) and I grabbed lunch together, which really meant that she got a glass of lemonade and waited for me to finish eating so we could go work on our Latin translation together. She eats earlier on Mondays. Anyway, Libentra and I were sitting together and then Rachel's friends started coming over... first a guy who I've met before, he eats with us a lot... then two girls I didn't know... then ANOTHER girl I didn't know... By the time I finished my cheese enchilada lasagna (cafeteria food is WEIRD), the table was full.

This is why I need to hang out with Libentra more. She attracts friends like a lamp attracts moths, minus the zappy doom at the end. Most of the time, anyway.

Alas, a side effect of a table full of people that all know each other but not me is that they try to talk to me, because I'm the new thing; I consequently have to actually talk to them, and the shyness kicks in and I start saying the one-word answers or worse, sound stupid because I'm nervous. BUT. I did talk! I had an actual conversation about RAs (two of the girls were RAs) and how they have to go into people's rooms and check to make sure everything's unplugged during the break (and the stupidity of people leaving alcohol bottles lying around). I actually contributed, not a lot but some, to the conversation and I didn't get really nervous or anything.

I'm quite proud of myself. I'll have to remember this and mention it at Group.

It's a little weird at Group, because I'm so much worse off than the rest of the kids there. They're all talking about how they can't say no or they talk too much or they don't know how to talk about the important things. I can talk about the important things, it's the small talk that gets me. And because I'm trying so hard, I almost always have something positive to report... but it's like, "I talked to my lab partners in Bio about something not related to the lab" or "I talked to a guy I know from class... outside of class!" So I'm sure the other kids in Group are sitting there scratching their heads thinking, Damn, how bad off IS this girl? But I'm giving myself positive reinforcement. I have to take life one step at a time, and if that step is the difference between a one-word answer and a five-word answer, I'm gonna celebrate it.

--------------------

But. I have to study. I have a Chem test at noon tomorrow and a Latin test immediately after it. Latin I'm not worried about, I'm better off than most of my classmates- but Chem is evilness. Next time I write, I'll be at HOME!