It's KT Mack's birthday today. He's nineteen. I think. He's also possibly NOT nineteen, and I'm loosing my mind, but I think he's nineteen, which means that a birthday is one step closer to the drinking age but not much else.
I have decided that I should start honoring people when it's their birthday. I missed it with Mistake, but I gave Mistake balloons. I'd give Mack balloons but I won't see him. So I'm giving him hypothetical balloons. Here's a picture of Mack's hypothetical birthday balloons:
Now I get to tell you all about Mack, and how funny and awesome he is, and tell you to go read his blog, which I'm too lazy to link to but it's in the sidebar. Now. I command you. Mind you, he never updates the silly thing, since he, unlike myself, has a life. That's okay though. Lives are important. I'm thinking about putting a down payment on one. Mack's FINALLY going to college next semester, at the same school as my sister. This is cool.
He likes capybaras. Unusually so. Little weird actually. So for his birthday, I present capybaras. I also present sea cucumbers and giant slugs, all of which he is rather fond of. Mack once decided that if he ever became rich he'd have a gold driveway and a capybara enclosure in the front yard. He was planning on raising sea slugs in his closet in high school, but we suspected his mother might object. Mothers are odd like that.
Seriously, though, Mack's a great guy and he's very special to me. So everyone should go over and leave him happy-birthday comments on his last post, even though it's totally from exactly one month ago. I told you, he has a life. This means you don't have to feel bad if you post a day late or something, because honestly, I bet it's another month before he thinks, "Hmm, I had a blog, didn't I?"
"I wish we could do what they do in Katroo.
They sure know how to say 'Happy Birthday to You!'
In Katroo, every year, on the day you were born
They start the day right in the bright early morn
When the Birthday Honk-Honker hikes high up Mt. Zorn
And lets loose a big blast on the big Birthday Horn.
And the voice of the horn calls our loud as it plays:
'Wake Up! For Today is your Day of All Days!'
Then, the moment the Horn's happy honk-honk is heard,
Comes a fluttering flap-flap! And then comes THE BIRD!
The Great Birthday Bird!
And, so far as I know,
Katroo is the only place Birthday Birds grow.
This bird has a brain. He's most beautifully brained
With the brainiest bird-brain that's ever been trained.
He was trained by the most splendid club in this nation,
The Katroo Happy Birthday Asso-see-eye-ation.
And, whether your name is Pete, Polly, or Paul,
When your birthday comes round, he's in charge of it all."