Yuck.

Today was really, really hard. First I didn't want to get out of bed, and I lay there for about an hour. Then I did get out of bed and every muscle in my body screeched in audible, PAINFUL protest. I dressed for the gym and lumbered downstairs, intending to watch a little ER then go to the gym, then job hunt.

Four hours later, I was still stuck on the couch, though I had at least gotten my laundry in and started icing my knee, which was the angriest body part.

I did finally get to the gym, at 3ish, and as I was making the rounds, it occurred to me that maybe the reason why I was so sore was because I hadn't skipped a session at the gym since the weekend, and over the weekend I walked a lot and lifted hand weights, so my muscles haven't really had a chance to heal at all.

I don't think I'll go to the gym tomorrow. However, I probably will have to either clean or mow the lawn again, so I'm not exactly getting a day off from exercise. I got like this last summer, too-- I become obsessed with working out every day, sometimes for longer than recommended. The thing is, I'd infinitely rather exercise than diet given a choice between the two. But that's not how it works, really, so instead I wind up exercising too much and eating crap, so I ultimately feel crappy.

But I didn't eat crap tonight, I cooked dinner, combining various weird cravings I was having in the grocery store to result in balsamic chicken in a greek salad, with balsamic vinegar and oil as dressing instead of greek dressing. And diet caffeine-free coke with lime slices in it, because they don't make caffeine-free coke with lime. I never understood that.

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I don't know. I'm still sore, but thankfully the mental funk has cleared somewhat, so I'm doing a little better.

The problem is that for whatever reason, I can't say no when someone asks me to do something (unless it's unreasonable), and I can't voice an opinion without needing evidence to back it up, and I have no confidence in anything, really. My lack of confidence made me cry, because I couldn't even say something that I knew would be positively received, but was simply a little difficult to get out. I was petrified it would come out wrong, like those things always do for me.