Wednesday, June 6, 2007


Today was really, really hard. First I didn't want to get out of bed, and I lay there for about an hour. Then I did get out of bed and every muscle in my body screeched in audible, PAINFUL protest. I dressed for the gym and lumbered downstairs, intending to watch a little ER then go to the gym, then job hunt.

Four hours later, I was still stuck on the couch, though I had at least gotten my laundry in and started icing my knee, which was the angriest body part.

I did finally get to the gym, at 3ish, and as I was making the rounds, it occurred to me that maybe the reason why I was so sore was because I hadn't skipped a session at the gym since the weekend, and over the weekend I walked a lot and lifted hand weights, so my muscles haven't really had a chance to heal at all.

I don't think I'll go to the gym tomorrow. However, I probably will have to either clean or mow the lawn again, so I'm not exactly getting a day off from exercise. I got like this last summer, too-- I become obsessed with working out every day, sometimes for longer than recommended. The thing is, I'd infinitely rather exercise than diet given a choice between the two. But that's not how it works, really, so instead I wind up exercising too much and eating crap, so I ultimately feel crappy.

But I didn't eat crap tonight, I cooked dinner, combining various weird cravings I was having in the grocery store to result in balsamic chicken in a greek salad, with balsamic vinegar and oil as dressing instead of greek dressing. And diet caffeine-free coke with lime slices in it, because they don't make caffeine-free coke with lime. I never understood that.


I don't know. I'm still sore, but thankfully the mental funk has cleared somewhat, so I'm doing a little better.

The problem is that for whatever reason, I can't say no when someone asks me to do something (unless it's unreasonable), and I can't voice an opinion without needing evidence to back it up, and I have no confidence in anything, really. My lack of confidence made me cry, because I couldn't even say something that I knew would be positively received, but was simply a little difficult to get out. I was petrified it would come out wrong, like those things always do for me.


ian said...

But when all is said and done, think how buff you'll be! WOOO!!


Anonymous said...

And always remember, the healthier you are, the better chance you stand of outrunning a pack of hungry wolves. (Should such a need arise.)

Food for thought.

...No pun intended.