Needs me some moolah

The trouble with jobhunting is that I should have been doing it months ago.

Right now, there's plenty of jobs. BUT. None of them want to train me for a couple months then have me go back to school. All the summer positions-- amusement parks, ice cream stands, etc-- were filled back in April or earlier. Last year I lucked out with the Discovery Channel position, because they needed immediate help short term with their going out of business sales. This year I'm thinking about donating my body to science (more on that later).

I mean, there's a few summer positions. I could work at Vector Marketing selling crappy overpriced knives to people who don't want them. I could go door to door for global warming again (long story). Or I could work for an elderly gentleman doing household construction, except I can't lift 85 lb bags of cement, and the guy on the phone clearly didn't believe that I'm good at carpentry and landscaping (I am, being female doesn't mean I can't use tools and I do it around the house all the time).

But they all suck or won't take me. So I am left with two ways to make money: help my mother with chores around the house, which I will do-- I can mow the lawn or repaint the back porch easily, plus she won't be able to cook or clean once she gets her hip replacement on July 8th. Or volunteer for scientific studies.

Thus far I've found a couple promising studies. There's one where they'll put me under anesthesia (a common one, widely used already, not an experimental one) and study my brain in an MRI machine for $200 plus transportation costs. Then there's one where they'll make me keep a strict sleep schedule for 2 weeks, then have me come in and keep me awake for 24 hours then give me an FDA approved sleep medication to see if it works under those conditions. That'll be a bit trickier but it has the advantage of paying $725.

Then there's the one that looked really promising at first but I decided it wasn't worth it. They're testing an HIV vaccine, not to see if it works, just to see if there are any side effects. The only catch is that the vaccine, while it can't give me AIDS, WOULD give me the antibodies against HIV which are the most common thing doctors and blood banks use to see if you have HIV. So any time I was tested I would come up as HIV positive, unless they used special alternative tests.

Not so much.

Ah well. I want to do a sleep study where you go in for two weeks and live in the hospital getting studied and they give you like $2000 but I can't find any right now, and I would only do it if they let me talk to Ryter on a regular basis. That would be awesome, in two weeks I would make as much as I would normally make in a whole summer. We'll see, and I'll keep looking. In the meantime, the only thing jobhunting is hurting is my parent's wallet (they've agreed to give me gas money for jobhunting, and they pay the phone bill). And if anyone asks me why I didn't work this summer, well, my dear mother had to get a hip replacement, see, and I WOULD have worked, but I just HAD to take care of her in her time of need...

Yeah, that's the ticket.

Minor Rant

Health Services keeps increasing the price of my birth control.

It's not like it's their fault. The government used to provide incentives for pharmaceutical companies to provide discounts for birth control for young women. This has been taken away under the Bush administration. This means that my birth control, which used to be $35 a month, is now $45 a month after the second price hike. And it's only going to get worse, because my kind of BC doesn't have a generic form they can give me.

It's so illogical. The reasoning for the removal of the legislation that supported price cuts for college students was to reduce the deficit, focusing on Medicaid. However, the change in the law means that pharmaceutical companies that offer these discounts are charged more to participate in Medicaid. Basically, to pay for a poorly conceived, underfunded program, they're gouging college students on their birth control prices.

Not to mention the whole fact that the cost to Medicaid for a new child being born to a parent who couldn't afford birth control is gonna be a hell of a lot higher than the amount they are getting from the pharmaceutical companies since the law went into effect.

My mom's still paying for my BC since I am unemployed and a student, but when I graduate, I'm going to have to budget $50 a month just for that out of my meager entry-level salaries. I have no idea how I am going to afford that, frankly, especially if it increases even more. I could switch BC methods but hormonal methods are the most reliable and I can't take the Pill, which has a generic, because I would forget (I have the Ring right now).

Hopefully the government will change their mind, but I doubt it. Long-term cost/benefit analysis and the government don't tend to mix.

Lack of Posts is Due to Plethora of Homework

So...

Bad news: I'm almost positive that I flunked my Biostats test yesterday. I got into the exam after studying ALL weekend and some last week too, and the first question required a regression formula and I completely blanked on it. Like, mind freeze. I knew I had known it the night before, I was just blanking. If that had been it I could have still done well on the rest, but then I proceeded to be completely unable to let it go-- my mind was racing through possible formulas it might be but drawing a blank and I started to freak out and the next thing I knew I was getting a panic attack. I managed to suppress it enough to do my best but my best under those conditions is probably not too fabulous... I think it was because I was stressed out about a lot of different things lately, so my breaking point was a bit closer than normal (More specifics later).

I'll talk to my therapist about it next time I go in (in two weeks, I was supposed to have a session yesterday but the day off screwed up the University schedule). Ryter suggested I get a note from Disability Services but I don't think there's much they can do to help one way or another, I mean, taking a class in another room will probably make it worse, and I don't need extra time. Too much hassle, not enough gain, and I honestly don't think my anxiety disorder counts as a real disability. Not at my level. And I don't think it will happen again.

The good news in all of that mess is I already talked to my professor and he said that he will drop my lowest test of the 4 so chances are it won't count. So that's sorted out.

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More good news: I also talked to my adviser today, and he said that I'm so far ahead in credits thanks to AP and all my honors classes last year that if I feel stressed with my current workload I might as well take only 3 classes next semester so I can focus on Calculus and Organic more. I'll still be ahead of where I need to be credit-wise (I'm like one credit shy of being a junior right now. Vivacia's still beating me, though, she's already a "junior"). I might take a seminar or something easy, too, but I thought I might do that to avoid a repeat of this semester. I don't think I could do this again, and I have the dreaded Calculus coming up.

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VERY good news: Talked to the dining office again. They said that they've had many students complain about that machine since I came in (I was just one of the first) and they're trying to get it fixed. The machine was putting other people's charges on my account if they went after me on the machine. They will sort out exactly what needs to be sorted out and will find a way to transfer the money back to us somehow. Good.

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I think I might be depressed. I mean, I think that's why I had a panic attack instead of just pushing by the problem. I'm having trouble focusing and trouble sleeping, and I feel lonely all the time unless I'm with Ryter or like, actually talking to Cellamica instead of just sitting in the same room as her. I crave someone to talk to all the time, but no one ever really wants to talk to me except Ryter, so I'm spending more time with him than I should. Vivacia's really busy, and injured, and possibly mad at me, so I can't really talk to her...

I'm kind of paranoid, too. Like I thought Ryter was mad at me over something little that was said the other day, and he had to reassure me that he wasn't; meanwhile I remain convinced that Vivacia's furious at me and just not telling me about it. I don't know, maybe she is, but it also could be that she's busy and hurt and having issues getting around. I can't tell, but my brain is defaulting on "mad at me." She did say more than ten words to me today via AIM so I was a little reassured that at least she's not like, ready to murder me if I come near her, but...

I feel disconnected, like I'm vibrating a little bit out of our plane of existence. The trouble is I know this will mean I will spend even more time with Ryter because he's the only one who ever has any free time or the patience to listen to me freak out. And then Mummy will be upset with me because she thinks we need to spend less time together... not to mention Vivacia, though I've pretty much flat-out told Ryter that if Vivacia has some free time, unless we either had tickets to something or were supposed to meet someone I'm going to cancel our plans and hang out with her. Perhaps because of the funk I'm in, perhaps because it's the truth, I've been feeling like a kind of crappy friend lately.

Then again, I've been feeling like a kind of crappy everything lately.

I was supposed to STUDY today

AHHHHHH!!!!!

So remember how I had to cancel my credit card because I was getting enormous charges to the Dining ID office, of all places? They charged me about $500 that I never saw a penny of on my card, so it wasn't my doing. They claim it wasn't even THEIR doing-- in fact, that it would be impossible for them to remove money from my card without my using it on a Cat's Cache machine. So basically, either the bank is making errors, the machines are making errors, or someone stole my card and can't think of anything more inventive to spend my money on than campus money.

Mummy put a stop on that credit card and now I can't use it any more, so I've been begging her for money so I can buy things like shampoo with my own debit account.

Well, guess what.

Now my debit card is getting the EXACT SAME FUCKING CHARGES.

$400. I lost $400 of my OWN money. Keep in mind that I only HAD about $500 in my checking account, so basically, I have no money any more (well, I have $1000 in savings, but that's my capital and I can't spend it unless it's like, life and death). Mummy's contesting the charges, of course, but that means I have to put a stop on my DEBIT card, meaning the entire sum of my wealth until either my parents can physically bring cash to me or the bank fixes the problem is $100, and I don't dare spend any of it on anything because I need a certain amount of emergency money that I can access.

What's more, I'm pretty sure that this isn't even the bank, it's GOT to be the dining office. So now I have to go down to the dining ID office and say, "Look, one mistake I can buy, but TWO, both on the days that I put $20 into my Cat's Cache from that card?" and make them take my card numbers out of the system completely. And from now on, whenever I need to put money on my card for the laundry machines, I have to walk over to the ATM, take out cash, walk back to the nearest Cat's Cache machine and pay in cash, lest they decide to make me pay 20 times what I wanted to pay AGAIN.

And they will tell me no, no, that's impossible, it must be a bank error, and I will have to tell them FUCK YOU, I JUST LOST ALMOST MY ENTIRE WORLDLY WEALTH AND ALL ACCESS TO HAVING MONEY ON CAMPUS BECAUSE YOU CAN'T FIX YOUR DAMN MACHINES.

It HAS to be a problem with the machine. Nothing else makes sense.

What's worse, I NEEDED that money, like, for specific purchases I was supposed to make.

And on top of all that Ryter was a little impulsive and bought something off ebay for me that doesn't fit me. So since he was kind of freaking out over an $80 charge on something that I can't wear, I promised him I'd resell it on ebay and buy the right size. So I put it up, very nicely, listing it at $60 because I figured that would be a good starting bid and if we were out $20 that would be tolerable. And then, lo and behold, next thing I know there's another seller with the exact same thing for only $20. Mine's the only large size, sure. But I've already had someone contact me saying they'll buy it-- IF I drop the price. The replacement dress is going to be almost $100 including shipping. If I sold it for $20 we'd wind up having spent $160 on this one dress.

I dropped it to $50 but I really can't go lower. I might have to though, because $20 is better than nothing. And this is important enough to him that I'll wind up buying the dress from the other company regardless of what I get for this one. So I might wind up being out $80 because of this. $80 that I don't have because of the stupid Cat's Cache machines.

I basically can't spend a penny until Christmas. And even then, maybe not...

What I Think About When I Should Be Doing Homework

So I was reading Navelgazing Midwife, which is a fascinating blog, and very helpful to me, because I want to go into obstetrics and gynecology and the blog often talks about problems with OBs.

I was especially interested in her post about birth rape, because I honestly never heard of it before, but it really makes sense. Many women were saying how their OBs didn't respect their choices or tried to force or coerce them into things, especially involving sticking hands or instruments up the birth canal. I read several years ago about doctors who perform episiotomies when the mother doesn't need it, and I was rather horrified. One thing I always assumed about medicine was that you do what the patient (or their legal guardian) wants, as long as it is legal.

Now, of course, in childbirth there is the question of the child and sometimes things go wrong. But misrepresenting information to a mother, or treating her like she is stupid or imbalanced simply because she is in labor? I hope I never get that arrogant, and that if people see me becoming so, they will slap sense into me. I know that when I am in my residency I will have to obey the chief OB, but I hope I can get one who is understanding and compassionate towards the new mothers, and that even if I am not so lucky I will still focus on the mother and pay attention to HER demands.

I think when I get to that point in my life I'll take classes in midwifery, so I can do things like catch the baby no matter what position the mom is in, and learn what's best to say to mothers. And I intend, if at all possible, to hand the baby to the mother BEFORE it gets brought into the nursery. Unless the baby is seriously injured or drastically premature and needs medical attention, mothers should get to see and hold the results of their labor immediately (or when they wake up) and begin bonding (unless, of course, it is a case of the child being put up for adoption or surrogacy and the biological mother doesn't want to hold the baby).

One of the reasons I want to be an OB/gyn and not a midwife or a nurse, besides money, is that as an OB, I will have control, and be able to do things like kick out nurses who belittle the mother or try to pressure her into things she doesn't want. And hopefully in my own small corner of the world, I can start making up for all the shitty, terrible OBs in the world.

And as for myself, when I'm pregnant I'm going to do tons of research and walk into the OB's office (I don't think I'd want to do a home birth) long before labor and say, "I am informed and educated in the subject of childbirth, and I want you to understand that I expect to be in control. Do not try to treat me like a child or an idiot or a hysteric at any point in this process. If you do not agree ahead of time to listen to me and treat me like an educated equal, I cannot have you as my doctor." Hopefully by that point I will be in med school or an intern and have access to OBs I know I can trust.

And then I will probably have a perfectly normal, hospital birth, on my back with my only "unusual" demand being no epidural or offers of an epidural until I specifically request it. I mean, hospital births aren't all that bad. My mom had three healthy vaginal hospital births (even my sister, who was late) and she always talks about how the nurse-midwives who helped her were the most wonderful thing imaginable (there were a couple of other women in labor at the time and hers was fairly normal, so the OB was only really there to check in and catch the baby). But hopefully as an OB/gyn I'll be able to help some of the women who might otherwise have had a really terrible doctor who treats it as a disease instead of a normal biological process that just requires a bit of help and an experienced set of eyes and hands if something's wrong.


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Tonight Ryter suggested that he, Loquelo, Nonaestima and I all get a house in Dover next year, and I commute to campus...

Pros: I like Nonaestima and Loquelo, and obviously Ryter, and I would get to cook my own food and eat healthy. I'd have a real bathroom and a real kitchen and it might even be cheaper than living on campus, depending on where we go.

Cons: Ryter would have to be cleaner. I'm fairly messy myself but I have to have a clean toilet seat and no grime in my shower, and nothing sticky on tile floors or crumbs on the rug. Also, he figured we'd just share a bedroom, and I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that right yet. I wouldn't be living on campus and I'd bet money my circle of friends wouldn't be growing. I'd be paying for gas too. And even though I doubt it would happen (pray it won't), I have to consider what I would do if we ever broke up mid-semester.

Oh, and the number one con: My parents would NEVER agree to it. Not sharing a bedroom. My mom doesn't even want to have me live off campus at all, because she wants me to get the college experience, and she's already worried I spend too much time with him and that he's looking for someone to settle down with while I should be fun-dating. My dad... yeah. Not gonna happen. And they control the money.

Maybe senior year, if I proposed it right. But next year? HIGHLY unlikely. HIGHLY.

My mother seems to have decided to give me sweaters a lot-- I'm not entirely sure how related this is to the "miniskirt" incident...

My whole family came up for my birthday celebration today, which was cool. We went to the New England Center (they have a Sunday brunch buffet), and Vivacia and Ryter came too.

It was cool. I got a cowboy hat, a sweater, an iTunes gift card, a Marvel Monopoly board and $375. All of which are most excellent. Also, the food was good and having Vivacia there apparently made Ryter a lot less nervous around my parents, because they were more focused on the fact that they haven't seen Vivacia in ages.

Then, I spent the afternoon studying. Well, sort of. I was supposed to be studying, anyway. It was an on and off thing... However, I did set up my secondary blog, which has only three entries. It's just me babbling about the Middle East conflict, plural marriage, and cheating, but if you like that sort of thing or want to tell me all the many ways I am wrong, check it out. Unlike many internet opinion blogs, I will admit if you change my mind-- and changing my mind is possible.

My Chem homework was surprisingly easy.

I'm wondering if I should start a second blog in which to dump my philosophical musings, anything that doesn't actually involve my day-to-day life, and keep this as a separate journal blog. What do you think? The other one wouldn't be updated as often. Actually, I might miss more days with this one as well, but the other one would be once or twice a week, and mostly so I can respond to newspaper articles and hopefully get people who wouldn't be interested in reading a diary blog to read the philosophical musings/opinion blog and comment.

So, good idea? Bad idea?

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Still haven't talked to my dad, though I did have to call home because the credit card was denied the other day. I want it working again so I can buy components of my Halloween costume online. I got Ryter to get himself a costume (Byzantine soldier, though it's actually a modified Hercules costume) so I need to do the same for myself-- finish off that scarlet witch costume.

So here's what it looks like:

Red tank leotard, including shipping: $23.24
Red cape, estimate including shipping: $20.00
Pink or lavender hose: $5.00 at Hot Topic or something
Red opera gloves, including shipping: about $12
Funny red hat/crown/tiara thingy: free, because I'll make it

I'm looking at $60 (not including the boots which I already bought) but I'll have an awesome costume. I wonder if Mummy would pay for some of it, knowing that I'll just wear the same thing every Halloween in the future, or modify it slightly if I want to.

I may also forgo the actual cape and just get a big piece of red cloth at JoAnn Fabrics, that would cut the price down. I can hem it myself, that's no big deal. Hmm.

I did get to see Loquatia again, at dinner, so today wasn't all that bad.

I've been trying to regulate my caloric intake (the dining halls post nutrition facts this year). While good for teaching me to add large numbers in my head quickly, it is posing many challenges. Yesterday the challenge was my Latin teacher bringing in homemade baklava. Today it was the fact that it was a festival day and the special foods don't list nutrition facts. And then there was the caramel apple pie.

I suck at this. But I did at least manage only about 2400 calories yesterday, which considering that I estimate I burn 2800 (lots of walking around) is kind of good. My goal is 2000 a day.

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So yesterday I had recitation for Biostats. Determined not to be as confused as last time, I took copious detailed notes on my laptop, step-by-step instructions and a guide in Excel itself. At the end of the class, she handed back quizzes (I got a 59 on mine. Yikes) and I rushed to pack up and get mine before the crush of half the class (of 125) got theirs. I then went to Hoco and to Ryter's for the evening, watched the first season of Heroes and speculated wildly as to the nature of the next season (but it looks like there will be superhero-teen lovin', so it's gotta be fun).

Then I got home, opened my computer, received a "YOU HAVE FLAWS ON YOUR DISK" message, clicked "fix" and came back in five minutes...

It rebooted my computer. Completely. What's more, in my rush I neglected to actually save my notes, figuring they would be there when I next opened the laptop. I lost everything.

So I grabbed some stuff off the website and frantically IMed Maritima, who is also in Biostats, and asked her for help. She's basically walked me through half this stuff. My lack of notes made this assignment take me a total of five hours, four of which were spent on one problem which I couldn't figure out at all.

But thanks to Maritima and my willingness to accept defeat on one problem, it was finished in the end. Thank god.

The thing is, I like statistics in itself; I don't like the fact that my TA has a new baby so she doesn't give a shit about teaching us, or grading us. My last assignment? She didn't grade the graph because I put it on a separate page. I mean, come on. Take off a point if it bugs you. But don't just not grade it. She claimed that she couldn't find things so if she had to hunt for it she gave it a 0, but honestly, how hard is it to get to that question where the graph should be and read "See page 3," and turn to page 3, where the graph is?

And that's not all she did that on-- I got a sixty, seventy with scaling, and I bet if she had spent more than a minute on each paper I could have gotten at least ten points higher. And she didn't bother to tell me what I did wrong, either. I guess I have to guess.

She says repeatedly that she hates statistics, hates grading, won't come in except for her very limited office hours, and is only doing this for the money because of the baby and because she's a graduate student. Okay. I get that she needs money, but really. This is all my stats professor could find???

Bah...

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Meanwhile I am debating how to ask my dad for a small allowance so I can do fun things on the weekends sometimes, or go out to eat once in a while. I mean, he knows I can't work with school stuff, and I do like to do things for fun besides surf Fark, read blogs and pester Ryter. I think I'll ask for $15 a week but hope for $10 and settle for $5 if I must. $5 would mean I get to eat out once a month and go on an (inexpensive) trip once a month. $10 would mean the same but eating out twice a month, or saving it; $15 would mean I could actually save up some money for the holidays.

My biggest concern is that the geniuses at UNH decided this year that finals end the week before Christmas. My last one is the 21st. Sure, vacation lasts until the 21st of January but guess what? Stores don't need help in January. They need help in December. If I go to a store and say I can start work on the 26th they'll say, "Sorry, no can do." Last year TJ Maxx really didn't need me after the ninth.

So that means I won't make any money at all over the winter break, and I don't really know what to do. I need a source of income, but I don't have the time to work during the year... The only thing I can think of is baby-sitting, but I hate, hate, hate advertising myself as a baby-sitter, and I don't really know any families in the area. Financially, I am screwed unless Daddy gives me an allowance.

He probably will understand. So what is my concern? I bet he ties it to my grades, as in, "Get a B or higher or the money goes away." And seeing as I am in Organic and Biostats, that means that it may very well go away and I'm screwed again.

Maybe if I suggest that I may need to take a year off and work otherwise... The only thing worse for Daddy than failing grades would be skipping a year. Something about "never going back."

How Erudite of Us

Today was the Brother's prom night, so we dolled him up and took a bazillion pictures. He was very patient, in his schmancy tux. A year ago, I was going to my senior prom... wow. That's kinda daunting. Only a year-- I feel like it's been so much longer...

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But this morning, before that, Shrewd took us over to David's Bridal so she could try on bridesmaid's dresses. I have to say, there is no place on earth with more estrogen than a bridal shop. Build-A-Bear pales in comparison, even. There were four males in the entire shop; one worked there and looked very effeminate, and the other three were nursing.

I've decided that the thing for me to do is have a Roman wedding. Girls get Grecian dresses, very pretty, guys wear togas and get to carry weaponry because that's the only way you get a guy into a toga when he's not going to get plastered with his frat, and at the reception, couches instead of normal chairs. Awesome, no?

Come on, TOGA WEDDING. How can you go wrong?

(PLus, togas are MUCH less expensive than tuxedos.)

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This evening, Mummy, Daddy, Shrewd and I went out to dinner and then to see Shrek III, which was not as good as either of the previous Shreks, but I hesitated to see Pirates because there was talk, a while back, of me and Ryter seeing that together.

But while the movie was bad, we had a very interesting conversation on the subject of weddings, specifically the cost (Daddy thinks he has to pay the full cost of my wedding, to which I said, "I'll pay at least half" and Mummy said, "You may not be able to afford it" and I said, "If I can't afford it I'm clearly not ready to get married," meaning, if I feel the need to have an extravagant wedding despite being unable to afford one I'm clearly not ready for the financial responsibilities that come hand-in-hand with getting married and potentially having children).

The talk of weddings must have annoyed Daddy (well, specifically, the fact that I was saying that I wouldn't let him buy me a house as a wedding gift [he was probably joking, but it's the idea that he feels the need to provide a wedding and gifts as a sort of dowry] and Shrewd said she didn't intend to marry at all), because he changed the subject, and we started talking about religion via a question about Ryter's last name.

Now, follow me here... Ryter has a very Jewish last name... my mom then made fun of me and my sister for "always chasing the Jewish boys" (not fair, Shrewd's at Brandeis, that's all there IS)... I pointed out that he's just Jewish in lineage, but actually Buddhist... she began to pepper me with questions about Buddhism. Because you KNOW dating a person makes you an expert on their religion, I mean really.

Still, we wound up having a very insightful, intellectual conversation on literalism in the Bible, mistranslations, the original texts and the omitted ones, like the Book of Esther, I think it was, which was apparently too feminist for Peter-- and how all of this has led my father to view the Bible as a whole with a skeptic's eye. He's Christian, but he understands other influences on the Bible. It was just the sort of insightful conversation we used to have around the dinner table before we started having dinner around the coffee table, watching TV.

I hope the Christians are wrong, or I am toast

Today was the trip to Mclean Hospital in Belmont to earn $275 by answering questions and giving a little bit of blood. It was... interesting. Shrewd went with me, since a gut instinct combined with years of experience was telling me that I'd get lost on my own. So at 8:30 this morning, we headed out, stopping for some breakfast on the way out of town. The drive was one hour long. My appointment was at 10:30. Dunkin' DOnuts does not take an hour to toast two bagels and make some hot cocoa and chai tea.

I blame Shrewd.

Anyway, we sat and talked in the car by this really pretty pond and laughed at the geese who landed on the ice and seemed rather startled that it was not water. We shouldn't have laughed, though, the poor geese are probably incredibly confused by the earlier warm weather that is just now turning chilly. Still... it was pretty funny. We watched bluebirds in the trees.

Shrewd dropped me off fifteen minutes early, as planned, since we figured might as well- we weren't doing anything productive. Then she went off to Brandeis, which is pretty close to the hospital, to check out her suite and, apparently, turn on the heat so there might actually be some heat when they get there on Sunday.

So I waited for fifteen minutes in the lobby at the Admissions entrance, and then I waited ten minutes in the lobby at the Admissions entrance, and then finally the interviewer came and got me and led me through the catacombs beneath this hospital to her office, which was a three minute's walk away, and honestly, I'm so glad she didn't have me meet her there because there is NO WAY that would have gone right.

The interviewing itself was long, yes, but it wasn't too bad. They asked a bunch of questions about my history with depression, and my family situation, and how I respond to situations; there was a lot on my personality and some on what I was like as a child/preteen/etc (Well, etc if I'd ever been anything but child, preteen, now). I didn't even cry when I was talking, which was nice for a change. Then they took two test tubes' worth of blood and I was free to go. Shrewd picked me up at 1:45 at the entrance she dropped me off at and we headed out to get sushi at this restaurant in Waltham. It was good sushi, if expensive. One person's lunch should never cost $18, period.

Then I went to work, which was pretty boring except I got two Star Cards, which basically means that they're acknowledging my mad retail skills. I got one because I've worked in every area of the store- Men/Kids/Toys, Women, Accessories, and Housewares. I got the other because of "excellent merchandising technique" which means I put the stuff on the shelves in pretty arrangements. I was quite proud. Most likely too much so.

Anyway... One thing I noticed at the interview was that when she was asking about my childhood... I sounded like such a horrible child. For starters, I was incredibly violent as a kid. I fought with my siblings all the time. And yet, I never fought with anyone besides my brother and sister. I was also a pathological liar, I skipped school by pretending I was sick so I could laze around in bed all day, and I stole books from teachers. Never anything else, just books. When I was eleven Mummy noticed that I had books from teachers and ordered me to gather them all up, so we could return them to the school at least, if not to the individuals to whom they belonged. I did, and put them all in a box- or rather several boxes, there were like 150 to 200 of them.

Honestly, I think I had hit six of the seven deadly sins before puberty. Wrath, certainly, with the fighting; greed with the theft; sloth with the staying home from school; gluttony- I never got happy meals because I always could eat the adult sized version, this is probably related to my current weight issues; envy of like, everyone, mostly my sister's intelligence; and pride in things that I probably shouldn't have been proud of, like my "singing ability" which I thought was fabulous despite the fact that I inherited my grandmother's sense of pitch- and she can't manage Happy Birthday.

For the slow students, the missing sin is Lust. Shrewd says this is good, since it means I'm not Freudian. I've covered that since puberty, though, and as an adult I'm pretty sure I only indulge in that and envy with enough regularity to go to hell for it. I'll probably go to hell for other reasons, though, like not being Christian...