Grr

So I, still feeling very depressed and all, went to go see my therapist today, hoping I would get a chance to talk about this and maybe find out what I should do. I rode the bus in, I waited 40 minutes like usual, then I waited an additional 15 minutes, wondering where the heck she was. Finally I asked one of the other people who works in her office where she was, and he said he hadn't seen her all day.

No note, no call, nothing. And it's not like I can just drive back to campus, I was left with the choices of waiting around like an idiot for another hour and a half for the bus to arrive, or calling Ryter AGAIN to come pick me up (last time I had a therapy appointment I missed the bus afterwards, since they changed the schedule slightly over break). She just canceled with no warning, which is a) incredible unprofessional and b) really not fair to me, since I can't easily get to and from the office.

Plus I'm still depressed, and knowing that my therapist doesn't even care enough to give me a two-second phone call to say "hey, sorry, I can't come in today" isn't really helpful.

I'm stopping therapy with her. Like, as soon as is practical. Most people seem to be of the opinion that at this point I don't really need therapy anyway. Ryter put it, "You don't need a therapist, you need a friend." Unfortunately, "friend" is harder to look up in a directory.

My life is a never-ending parade of cleaning supplies and computers

Grades came in the other day.

Latin, A; obviously. Ecology, Biostats and Orgo Lab, all Bs. And then, the C in Organic-- but you know, I passed, and I can continue. And I won't let it get to me. No matter how irritated my dad is.

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My grandmother is still up; this means I am sleeping on the couch downstairs on weekends and cleaning the house pretty much nonstop. Between cleaning, promises to help people move/unpack/pack up their room/etc, and assorted parties, plus the primary next week (I have to go to Durham, that's where I'm registered), I won't have time to sit and breathe for a week. I'm already struggling to find time to see Bisobrina, who had a mental breakdown and was hospitalized and is now at home recovering; I also want to go see Vivacia sometime soon, to give her my Christmas gift to her, give her mother a bag of romance novels that is sitting in my car, and hopefully sit and talk for a while. You know, relax, the thing I'm supposed to be doing on vacation?

I really wish I could spend more time with Vivacia. It bugs me that we don't see each other as much. But the trouble is, Ryter's available online from 9 AM to 10 PM with very few times away from his computer; planning stuff with him is beyond easy, and most of the time when we get together it was his idea. Vivacia, to compare, has a very busy life and spends a small to moderate amount of time on AIM, usually while studying. And I am phenomenally lazy, so the extra effort to track her down and find a common time, or even just keep calling her until I find a time when she's able to pick up the phone, tends not to get done. I guess I'm a bad friend for that. But you know, I've always been an introvert; I've always needed other people to plan things and get me out of my hole.

I should call her tomorrow.

Christmas Week, Part 3

Okay, sorry, I wanted to finish before but between being busy and various parties... oh well.

WEDNESDAY: The family Christmas party, with my grandfather, aunt, uncle, cousins, cousin's boyfriend and this year, my brother's girlfriend. It was good fun, as always; we had hot apple cider by the fire and we mingled for a while before opening presents and then playing a few games-- like "pass the package" where the person who answers a Christmas trivia question takes off one layer of wrapping paper from a gift, and the one that finds the final present gets to keep it (I lost).

Then there was the search for the pickle ornament, with a prize for the winner. My cousin won, after much frantic pawing through the tree.

And the Yankee Swap, where we passed around a box and each person took one wrapped gift, and either unwrapped it or exchanged it for an already unwrapped gift. The little bottles of alcohol were very popular, but alas, my mom's gotten increasingly bad at picking desirable non-alcoholic gifts as time goes on, and I wasn't allowed to trade for the alcohol, obviously. End result, I got tissues, which I afterwards gave to Shrewd, who had a cold. My older cousin got the risque tissues, which said "Jingle My Bells" with crotch shots of elves. My mom swears it was an accident...

Then we mostly sat around and talked again until they left and we started to clean up.

THURSDAY: I went to see Ryter, as I had promised to go down with him to help him unpack his mother's apartment (she apparently moved in three years ago and never unpacked). He's been avoiding seeing her one-on-one lately. So I drove all the way back to Durham, met up with Ryter, we got in the car and started to drive-- and got a phone call from her, saying she had forgotten she had an appointment that day and could we reschedule. Grrrr...

So we drove back, and before I could drive home or anything it started to snow. So I spent the night. Which was okay, but... bah. His mom can be vexing at times.

FRIDAY: I drove back early in the morning because my grandmother was coming up in the evening. My grandmother, while a very nice woman, has a tendency to pick fights without realizing she is doing so... especially with my sister. So I came home, slept on the couch for the weekend and tried not to get entangled in arguments. We also opened presents, and thus ended Christmas.

The weekend was mostly spent hiding in my room, but on Monday I drove to see Ryter for New Year's Eve. WE didn't do much on the Eve, just hung out and kept each other up until midnight, toasted, and went to bed. New Year's Day I was supposed to go down to Mass and see family for a big brunch, but the snow was too heavy, so instead we just got ready for his New Year's Party, which was tiki-themed and had a surprising number of the invites show up despite the weather. The only one who didn't was his former Japanese professor. That was fun.

I wound up spending the night again because it was so late when everyone left. Then today we cleaned up after the party before I headed back here.

On the plus side, I cleaned his shower during our preparations. I burned my lungs on the bleach, but the weird scunge is gone. That made me very happy.

Don't you hate days when everything goes wrong?

Perhaps it's no coincidence that my religious beliefs are so closely tied to the idea of guilt, because sometimes it feels like that is the emotion I feel the most, and most powerfully.

Right now Vivacia is upset with me because today we celebrated her birthday and I'm pretty sure I royally messed it up.

My parents are irritated because I saw them for the first time in weeks and I couldn't even let them take me to lunch or really do anything but talk to me for two minutes and then go.

Closer is probably more than a little pissed at me because I messed up his surprise that I didn't know about and that didn't happen anyway for reasons unrelated.

Ryter will probably feel like crap if/when he finds out about any of this because it's all tied up in his wanting to tag along and get to know everyone better.

I try to make everyone happy and this shit happens. If I don't try to make everyone happy they all get mad at me. I can't do anything right and I don't know why I bother to try.

I have 38 hours over the course of an entire week when I am not sleeping, eating, in class or doing homework. Of that there are actually only two blocks of time, Friday night and Saturday, when I am free from a long enough amount of time to make planning something feasible. Meanwhile Vivacia's usually on duty during those blocks Everyone wants my time, it seems, and half of them don't want my time with them to overlap with my time with anyone else. Ryter just wants me to spend time with him and he wants to spend time with Vivacia and Closer, but my parents think I need to spend more time studying or come home more often (my mom was upset that I didn't come home this weekend), and Vivacia wants me to spend time with her without Ryter being around.

I don't know. I posted more of this in my livejournal, because it's all very emo and LJ is better for being melodramatic.

Gah, I need to consider normal bedtimes again...

Today is the Tubilustrum, which was a ceremony used to make the army fit for war. They sacrificed an ewe and the priests would dance in the streets. The tubae, sacred trumpets, were used in the ceremony.

It's also the Feriae Volcano, which were rites in honor of Vulcan and Maia.

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I had plans to meet KTMack and another friend from high school, who I will call Primaevus ("youthful," he can be a bit immature at times, but he's okay as long as I tell him when he needs to shut up) at 11:30 at the 99 for lunch. This was all well and good, but I woke up at 11:45. I got a querying phone call as I hurried about, trying to NOT resemble a she-beast of the planet Kromulon, but I made it only about forty minutes late so I figured it was okay... sorta...

Oh well. They waited, and it was cool, we got to catch up. I was actually concerned that it might be weird with KTMack, since I haven't really talked to him much except for the occasional wall note on Facebook since we broke up. But you know, it really wasn't. I think the fact that we were always better at being friends than significant others made the transition back a little smoother. I mean, us dating was like three months of frustrated awkwardness, and yet, he's an awesome friend and not the sort of person I'd want to lose touch with. He didn't even bat an eye when I talked about Ryter (I didn't bring it up, Primaevus did). Things are cool. Which is very, very cool.

After catching up for a bit I swung by TJ Maxx to figure out what my manager's name was, stopped in at Curves, which is in the same mall, to ask about summer membership, and then went home to shower and get dressed in my huntin' clothes.

Job hunting clothes, that is. As in, stuff that makes me look mildly responsible and adult. Skirt and a blouse sort of thing.

So I've officially applied at Shaw's and I got applications from Partyrama (it's like iParty only smaller), Hannaford's, and McDonald's, though I've had three or four people tell me that fast food is shitty, low-paying and dangerous, and I honestly don't feel like loitering around grease all day anyway, so I don't think I'll apply there. It seems like lots of places are hiring, at least. I intend to fill out an application to Home Depot tomorrow. I was going to go in today, and then I realized it was a hardware store and I was wearing a skirt, which was probably NOT the proper impression.

I hate this. I hate being petrified of not getting summer employment. I really don't want to spend another summer at home doing nothing but working out and watching TV, bored out of my skull. I need to interact with people. I can't spend too much time alone, I get depressed.

Spiderman is emo now, didya notice?

So... remember how that Chem exam was going to be the week after next, thus giving me a whole week between them in which I could study for Chem and forget Bio?

I was wrong.

It's Friday or nothing.

GAH!!!!!!

I don't have TIME to study for Chem AND Bio! That's what screwed me over last time when I flunked that Bio exam! How the hell am I supposed to deal with this? I mean, it's an optional final. But I really, really wanted it to be a choice, and now it might not be, not really.

As best as I can calculate, I have a 86% in that course, not factoring in the ACS exam and assuming I have about an 80 in lab. That's a B. I wanted to get an A-, but will settle (grudgingly) for a B+, which requires an 87%.

I don't know what grade I will have to get overall, all told, to induce me to try to study for Chem and take that final. I haven't decided if I want to settle for a B or not. I must think. And talk to my folks.

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Today I woke up at 11:00 or so when Vivacia (formerly known as Mistake, if you're not caught up on recent posts) called, asking me if I wanted to go to the mall. I, in sleepiness, replied that I thought I had stuff to do and I didn't think I could. She seemed rather upset but said okay.

About half an hour later, once I had actually woken up, I thought about it, and realized that I hadn't had anything planned for today besides meeting Ryter's mom for dinner, and I could have easily gone to the mall. So I called Vivacia back and spent waaaaay too long convincing her that I did actually want to go, but my sleepy coma had stopped me from voicing my true intentions.

So we went to the mall... I got a sundress, actually, though the whole point was to get gifts for Mother's Day. I got one of those too. But I did get a pretty red and white sundress for summer, and it was only $25. I also saw the prettiest red-gemstone silver ring at a really cool jewelry store in the mall, but it was $10 for one ring and I decided I shouldn't spend that much money on myself. But... PRETTY. And SHINY. I was sad. I really liked it.

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Vivacia wasn't feeling very well, but she needed a gift for her mom, and then we had to kill time before the bus got back, so we wandered around and made Closer stand in the girlie stores like Urban Behavior, and went to the pet store the next mall over and freaked out when a bunny looked like it was dying (he was fine), until the bus came and they left, and I stuck around to meet Ryter over by iParty.

Anyway, it was fun; I've missed seeing Vivacia. There is a well-documented syndrome that says the first time a girl gets a boyfriend, she will ditch her friends for the sake of the guy until she figures out how to balance the two. I didn't have this issue with KTMack because it was summer and I wasn't doing anything and he and Vivacia both had jobs. But now Vivacia and I both have classes and finals to study for, so I'm already crazy busy, and then I spend so much time with Ryter...

The trouble with this syndrome is all romantic relationships must eventually end*, but friendships needn't. Thus one should never forget their friends for a Significant Other, and I'm only now learning to balance the whole thing.

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Anyway, I met up with Ryter and Vivacia and Closer went home to study. We met at iParty so he could get some stuff for a class party. At about the same time I cautioned him that since he was having me spend the night at his place before his graduation, I was going to be obligated to decorate his apartment in the most gaudy, god-awful, tacky graduation-themed decorations I could find.

He is very enthusiastic about this idea.

We then went over to his car to wait for his mom. Fifteen minutes later, I met her and we went into T.G.I.Friday's for dinner. Ryter's mom is very nice, and man, can I see where Ryter gets it all. I mean, the two of them are soooo alike, even more so than Ryter and his dad. But she was cool and I got to have a decent meal, as opposed to school food.

Ryter and I hung out for a little while afterwards, but ended it earlier than usual. We were both tired. But it was a very good day, until I discovered the Chem stuff...

*We are ignoring the marriage alternative, of course. But having your spouse be your only close friend isn't that great an idea either.

In Which I Apologize For The Lack Of Posts

My my, do I have some catching up to do. I'm sorry, late nights and much homework have distracted me from the blog...

Thursday was primarily devoted to homework; I didn't get as much Chem studying in as I might have liked but I finished my project, and then needed to practice it. Alas, I was at a loss as to who would want to sit through a 10 minute presentation on the gods that were unique to the Roman pantheon (as opposed to those borrowed wholy from other regions). I complained along these lines to Ryter via AIM and he immediately invited me over to practice it in front of himself and Loquelo, who was visiting. After much reassurance that it was okay (I am a nervous sort and hate being a burden) I consented in exchange for buying them a pizza. I thought it a fair trade.

One half-sausage-half-mushrooms-and-black-olive pizza and a lot of procrastination later, I gave my lovely speech, and was informed that while it was engaging, it was 25 minutes long. Factoring in the amount of time we got distracted it was probably about 23 minutes. So I knew I had to cut it down to a more manageable size, anyway. But I got back late because of this and still had studying for the Chem test the next day, so I was unable to write.

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The Chem test went surprisingly well, considering that I spent maybe a half hour preparing for it. I didn't remember everything but I think I got a decent amount correct, at least. We'll see.

As for that Latin presentation, I think it went well. Forgot nothing, paused seldom, only took fifteen minutes all told and I think I did well.

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After Latin I walked over to Ryter's apartment (it's a short walk from Murkland Hall) and helped him get ready for the party. This was basically washing dishes and sweeping the floor. I was a little worried that I would seem pushy or something, or like I was calling him a slob (Which would go somewhat like this: "Hi, kettle. My, you're looking black today"). But we got the place ready, then bought party supplies (the alcohol, though, he bought earlier) and then hung out until the first gues arrived, a very close friend of Ryter's named Inconcinnus, or at least, named that here because it would kinda suck if you had a parent who named you after the Latin for "awkward, inelegant, and absurd." The reason for this naming will become patently obvious.

Ryter showed Inconcinnus his sword upstairs (REAL sword. It's a katana. Though when you're downstairs and they're up there saying "Oh, cool, can I hold it?" and "That's so cool, I need to show you mine someday" giggles are induced. Ryter apologized for abandoning me at one point, so I pointed out that I was getting a good laugh out of it. Living up to his name, Inconcinnus [and Ryter] promptly started making the lewdest sword-related innuendos they could conceive), and then Inconcinnus discovered the foam sword Ryter bought when he visited me in Londonderry, and it was decided that the party would be unable to progress unless I fetched my sword from my dorm. I took Ryter's SUV, fetched the sword and also some bubbles, and returned, and I only drove the damn over sized thing over a curb once.

Oops.

When I got there, the company had increased by two, both guys (or maybe not, I'm a little fuzzy on who arrived when), and there was a sword fight on the deck, then Inconcinnus discovered the bubbles and started to blow them, and continued through the arrival of two more (one girl, one guy), even blowing them down from the opening between the loft and the kitchen so they would fall down into the kitchen without an obvious source...

They played a video game, Soul Caliber for a few rounds, then put on a bad kung-fu movie to comment on. The girl left after only 45 minutes, pleading homework, and a while after Loquelo showed up with a female friend, and then the awkwardness began... Put Loquelo and Ryter in a room and the sketch factor raises precipitously. Inconcinnus could stand in a room all by himself and the sketch factor would be raised. Three of them together... yeah.

But it was fun. There wasn't that much drinking, really-- only about three people seriously drank and no one was really impaired. The majority of us steered clear of the alcohol. The biggest the party ever was was ten people, enough to please Ryter (who had been worried that no one would show besides like, me, and maybe one other person), but not so much that I started to get nervous, which happens at around fifteen. And yes, I go through my classes in a constantly nervous state. Plus everyone had fun and it was in general a rousing success, and I survived Never Have I Ever without making it uncomfortable (I've gotten much, much better at that, but in my heyday I could have topped Ryter, Loquelo, and Inconcinnus combined), and I carefully seem to have forgotten everything awkward Ryter may have admitted that I didn't already know, which is convenient.

Alas, it was 2:30 when I got back last night, I started to write this blog entry then gave up and went to bed.

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Today I woke up late, went to see Spiderman 3 with Ryter (and went to a Fresh City for dinner, there's one here! This is exciting), and then we went back to his place and had a quiet, low-stress evening, which was nice. We watched the Count of Monte Cristo and then I mentioned that it was a kind of sandwich and I think I have instilled in Ryter a serious desire to eat one. I have no problem with this... Sans the ham, Monte Cristos sound pretty good.

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2:03. Shit. Well, I'll sleep in late tomorrow.

In which I corrupt a roommate and am mildy corrupted by a cousin, myself

The Floralia continues. Have some flowers.



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Okay, Mistake mentioned that she no longer has a particular desire to be called that. So I'm officially changing her name to Vivacia. I'll change it retroactively over the summer, but henceforth, Vivacia= Mistake. Still haven't picked a name for Closer yet.

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Today was... an experience.

Bisobrina came up today to visit after I finished my Bio project contribution, at 1. We then wandered around for a while, and then, as we grasped for something to do, I invited Vivacia to dinner and she came over, which was INCREDIBLY good because Vivacia is so much better at the talking to people thing. Bisobrina, I learned, has a diagnosed inability to read facial expressions (very mild Asperger's), which means she doesn't tend to pick up when I'm getting bored with a conversation (that has lasted about an hour...) or when I'm trying to change the subject tactfully. Luckily Vivacia is the master of seizing control of a conversation and I was able to sit back and not contribute. Closer wandered in and out and then we went to dinner with Loquatia and Vivacia's roommate.

Then we went to go see Pan's Labyrinth at the MUB movie theater. It's in Spanish with subtitles. Bisobrina lasted a half an hour or so; Loquatia was ambivalent, and I was obligated to go with Bisobrina. So we went to the other movie, which was just starting: Ghost Rider. Hint: Don't take a fundamentalist Christian to see a movie about a guy who sells his soul to the Devil and then has to defeat demons with a flaming skull for a head. Just a tip.

Anyway, after that we were getting ready for a boring night, possibly venturing down to the social for a rousing Thumb-War Tournament (aka "The RAs Ran Out Of Social Ideas"), when I got a call from Ryter (well, the call came earlier but I just noticed it then) inviting me to come to a party of a friend of his, the one that he was at at the time, and I could bring Bisobrina. I was hesitant, mostly because I don't know Bisobrina well enough to trust her at a large party, but he said it wasn't a crazy kind of party so I asked her if she wanted to go and she bounced up and down on my bed in excitement, so we went, after I warned her that she was not going to be allowed to drink, though if she really wanted to go make out with a stranger in a corner, I wasn't going to stop her. I said this only because I knew full well that that wasn't going to happen... Corrupting cousins is a good way to get glared at during family reunions.

We got there and everyone was chilling in the main room, so I figured it was going to be okay... I kinda hung back, though, because I was nervous and I was worried about making a good impression. Everyone was really nice, though. Apparently I look like Anna Paquin? (Don't see it)

And then they all went out to the garage to smoke, and we went out to talk with them, and then Bisobrina mentioned that she didn't want to go home smelling like cigarettes... So the rest of the night we spent inside, away from everyone else except for the occasional person who wandered in for alcohol or a break from that conversation, and Ryter, who felt obligated to stay with us on account of he was the one who invited us in the first place. So the whole time I was like, damn, now he can't hang out with his friends, and what's worse, I'm hiding inside and I must seem like the world's biggest snob. I mean, I would have wound up inside anyway, because by the time we left the garage was so full of smoke that Ryter opened the door to say goodbye to everyone and I thought my eyes were lighting on fire, but I spent like no time talking to people unless they came into the kitchen and then most of my conversation was just redirecting Bisobrina's to try to find common topics everyone was interested in.

Oh well. Many of those people are going to Ryter's party next week. I'll have a chance to redeem myself and be sociable then...

Why yes, I do obsess like this after every time I meet someone new.

*collapses in exhaustion*

"I want a giant terrestrial land squid. Best. Pet. Ever."

Today is the Megalesia of Cybele in Phrygia and Rome, commemorating the arrival of the goddess to her Roman temple. I don't know how it was celebrated, particularly.

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If anyone asks, it's not snowing.

No, it isn't. I refuse to believe it could be snowing in April, after 70-degree weather last week. That's just ludicrous.

...Let me wallow in my delusions!!!

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So I think that the professors here have psychic powers that let them know when a person's social life starts to pick up, so that they know when to start assigning extra homework. I've been swamped.

In other news, I made an appointment to talk to my advisor on Friday after Latin, so I can figure out my schedule for next year. I know I need to take Organic Chemistry (blech) and probably Precalculus (double blech), but beyond that I'm uncertain. With those two monsters, I think I need a real break, something like Art. I think I have some creative-ish core credit I need to fulfill. Then... something else. One other class. I bet they make me take a Bio class or something, but I really don't want two mathy classes AND two sciency ones. Because I would die.

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So Ryter met Loquatia today. This was in part because Ryter wanted to meet her and in part because she's doing this RA thing where they want her to strike up a conversation with someone new. Dinner was about ten times more talkative than it usually is with just me and Loquatia-- I think we ran out of stuff to discuss a couple months ago.

Anyway, yeah, we trekked through the snow-- WHICH ISN'T THERE-- over to JP's, ate, talked, etc, then Loquatia went off to Swing and Ryter and I walked back to his place. I realized a little too late that we were totally walking right past Stoke, and I really should have just gone and picked up those sour pickles Mistake was randomly craving and dropped them off at her door, but oh well, I didn't. Anyway, yes, we went back to his place, hung out and talked about religion and other such Big Important Subjects and then I returned here in plenty of time to finish that stupid English essay which is totally like 13 pages.

Ryter liked Loquatia well enough, though he,like so many before him, fell into the "misreading of the facial signals" trap. Loquatia doesn't tend to express on her face what she feels, and she usually looks upset. Mistake did the same thing when she first met her. Heck, I thought she didn't like me for the first three months or so.

Loquatia said that Ryter was "nice" but mostly what she pointed out was that we seem to have a lot in common (we do), and he seems to like me (I hope so, at this point). The word "cute" was used a lot about the two of us, which I should probably resent more than I do. She also asked me if he was a goth at some point (he sort of was), which goes to show you that either it's waaaay more obvious than I thought and I'm just dense or she's very perceptive. And she thought he seemed nervous. He probably was. I dunno.

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Phylum presentations continued in Bio lab, before we got to play with bugs, and the first presenters brought candy, per tradition. Theirs was really cool, though.
Remember those Creepy Crawly sets where you pour the gooey plastic into a bug mold and get a squishy fake bug? Well, they had taken one of those molds, of a scorpion, and made chocolate scorpions-- except because their project was on an intestinal worm, there was totally a gummy worm inside.

I was mildly disturbed, but it was pretty creative.

Though I have to say, the best lab was presented by Incredibly Hot Guy (I'm still going to call him that, mostly because I've called him that before and he hasn't become Got Plastic Surgery And Is No Longer Incredibly Hot Guy, sorry if it's weird) and Flirts With TAs. Theirs was only mildly related to their subject but it was filled with random funny pictures, like Incredibly Hot Guy asleep with a dream bubble with a picture of the professor in it. For the "Reproduction" slide it was the two of them in the shower in their boxers. We were cracking up. Of course, that was an excellent time for Incredibly Hot Guy to remind everyone of his interest in the ladies by making the word "vagina" spin on the screen a couple times.

Ah, college.

"Sweet Memories are the Paradise of the Mind"

Today is a dies ater, which means it's bad luck to start anything new. It's also the festival of Juno Februa, who is really the same Juno as yesterday except yesterday she was the Queen of Heaven and Savior Mother, and today she's the mother of Mars/Ares. Just a different aspect of her. Anyway, today was celebrated by putting roasted spelt and salt on the door sill.

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Today Latin was canceled, which was exciting, and then at three I met up with Mistake and Closer to hang out all afternoon. Mistake showed me where to drop off my RA application and we went to Brooks, and then went back to her dorm and hung out and listened to the soundtrack of our childhood-- Who else remembers "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls, "C'est La Vie" by B*witched and "I Saw the Sign" by Ace of Base?

Mistake's ex boyfriend and current best friend (she collects them. Best friends, not ex boyfriends, though the latter is also possible) came up to visit, as he has a college interview at a nearby school tomorrow morning. He's staying the night in her dorm room, thanks to her lack of roommate. Closer may or may not spend the night in there with them, sleeping in the chair. He arrived just as it was starting to snow, and we went to eat dinner and then afterwards went to my dorm to get my mug for cocoa and some salsa I wanted to get rid of. AS we headed back to Stoke, the snow was starting to pick up and we threw snowballs and Mistake made a snow angel.

Mistake went and retrieved her camera, and we wandered around campus, avoiding the poor, confused skunk that was wandering about in the drifts because of the weird weather. We took pictures and played in the snow, and then we made a snowman on T-Hall lawn-- well, it started out as a snowman, but then I broke the head apart by packing too hard and rather than replace it, we gave it cat ears and a face and called it a Wildcat; then we took pictures with it and once we returned, wet and cold, to Mistake's dorm, she sent a picture in to the local news station and they showed it on the 11:00 news later that night.

Before the news, we watched Psych and ate popcorn; then we sat around and talked for a while after. I naturally had to call my mom and let her know what channel to watch, lest she miss the proof that college kids are quite talented snowman builders.

On the way back home at 12:30 AM there were kids riding dining hall trays down the hill by the library and having snowball fights in front of Hubbard Hall.

I love the snow.

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Actually, right now I'm kinda more loving the fact that at dinner tonight, I was totally checked out by not one, but two guys. First there was this guy who kept staring at me all through the meal-- well, either me or Closer, and if he was staring at Closer that's mildly creepy, whereas if he was staring at me it's still creepy but it makes me feel better so it's okay creepiness. The first time I caught him staring at me out of the corner of my eye I turned a little, like I was glancing around the room, and he blinked his eyes back to the people he was talking to, and it was about ten minutes before I noticed him again... so I decided I wasn't going to turn, and see how long he stared.

It was a pretty long time. I was kind of wondering when I was going to be able to look around the room again. He went back to talking with his dinner partners eventually, but I swear, like, five minutes later I noticed him looking at me again...

Then we were walking out to bring our trays to the dish room, and a totally different guy glanced at me walking by, glanced away, looked back, and then slid his eyes down the full length of my body. It was, as my sister decided when I told her of it later, "like... hardcore checked out." Again, definitely kinda creepy, but at the same time, in a twisted, odd, my-self-esteem-sucks kind of way, it really cheered me up.

If there was another possible reason for them looking at me, I really don't want to hear it, I'm basking here.

The only problem was I totally wanted to mention it to Mistake, because I actually find it pretty funny, too-- another advantage of being young/naive is that when people blatantly check you out, it's still funny and not just annoying-- but I couldn't think of a way to say it that didn't sound like I was completely full of myself, and Mistake's friend doesn't know me well enough to understand that I have "obnoxiously low" self esteem and this is kinda exciting for me.

Oh well. We're going to the mall tomorrow, I'll mention it then.