I met with the school psychiatrist today. And I told him that I very rarely remember to take my meds, which is a lie. I haven't taken them AT ALL in almost two months. But the point is, I'm fine, and stable, thanks to a combination of a) therapy, b) group therapy that focuses on the most distressing problem I have, c) my dad constantly telling me, every time I go home, how much thinner I look, d) realizing I actually look kinda pretty when I wear makeup and big hoop earrings and do something semi-decent with my hair, and e) not thinking about every guy I meet as a potential date opportunity, thus not getting disappointed when he invariably winds up having a girlfriend.
All these factors have improved my overall mood, and none of them are so hard to maintain (unless Daddy decides I'm not loosing weight after all or something) that I can't continue to pass as a normal, stable human being. And as long as that's the case, according to the doctor, I don't have to take mind-altering medication.
BASIORANA's DRUG FREE! WOOT!
Well, not quite, I mean, I still have pills to take, but everything I am currently putting into my body is a dietary supplement, all-natural food, or whatever that stuff in the cafeteria is. The all-natural stuff is rare... But still. I swore I was going to be off my meds by senior year of college- how awesome would it be if that goal was accomplished freshman year?
-----------------------------
Mistake has invited me to go with her and some of her friends to a frat party. Don't worry, none of the group intends to drink- I mean, it's got Mistake and Closer, and they're good people. They'll probably try to find a party that's a little less alcohol oriented. Also, the very fact that Closer will be there means it's gonna be fairly safe, since the really bad parties don't let guys in if they aren't in the frat.
I will mostly likely go and spend much of the time in the corner being nervously non-social and still feel a sense of accomplishment for getting out of the room at all. Then I will be able to say I went to a frat party during my college career, and thus one-up both my mother and my sister. Mind you, my sister's lack of frat parties in her social resume is probably more because Brandeis doesn't HAVE frats. Besides the Jewish one, which is intercollegiate. But a lack of frat houses tends to indicate a lack of frat parties.
Mummy just doesn't like parties. She's like, more shy than I am, only she doesn't particularly care enough to make an effort to change, especially not NOW.
Oh, speaking of parties, if anyone reading this knows my sister Shrewd, TELL HER TO GO TO HER SENIOR SEMI FORMAL. Because Shrewd didn't go to Prom, and this is her last chance to go to a big dance with all her friends until the weddings start. The issue is she doesn't want to go alone, and she has a friend she could go with, but she's too shy/awkward/embarrassed to ask him, despite the fact that it's not a DATE date, and it would be awkward for about FIVE SECONDS after the asking. Unless she has a friend like Mistake around who would make the entire circumstance much more awkward than it has to be, and thus provide her with emotional blackmail for the next five or six years of their friendship. (If you don't know this story, it's probably for your own good. That time period was the closest my life ever got to a soap opera, contrary to what Closer believes.)
But I digress. Tell Shrewd to get over herself and ask her buddy to escort her, because she needs a dance-like experience on her social resume and I want to have a picture more recent than senior year where she actually looks pretty, and not like a deranged chipmunk in junky old clothes like she does in EVERY FAMILY PHOTO, because she's usually laughing her head off.
Which says a lot about her personality, in that she's a cheerful sort, but also something about her chuckling, in that it needs work because laughter should not make one look like a deranged chipmunk. Not that I should talk, my laughter sounds like either a donkey, a woodpecker, or a pothead monkey. But I LOOK fine.
---------------------------
Last weekend, I managed to come back from my visit home without leaving anything important. This is good. Not so good is that instead of forgetting stuff, I brought stuff with me. Specifically the key to the Contour, the car I was using to get to interviews. I discovered the key in my coat pocket. So I called and informed Mummy, and then she asked me where the spare key was. I said, "This is the spare key." "Then where's MY key, that I gave you on Saturday?"
Oops. That would be the bottom of my purse.
Thank God, there was ONE key I left behind, which ironically was the one that was actually mine, and on my key chain. So if it snows before I can get home, they can at least move the car...
Is it just me, or do I seem to be the sort who, if she ever got plastered (like that would happen), would wake up with a traffic sign she'd never seen before, and no pants?
--------------------------
In other news... Basiorana needs to stop procrastinating. Like, NOW. Time for homework.
Showing posts with label talking to strangers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label talking to strangers. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 5, 2006
Thursday, November 30, 2006
"Blessed is That Man Who Has Found His Work"
Today is the Feast of Adonis. For those unaware, Adonis' mother, Smyrna, tricked her own father into sleeping with her, and then when he figured out and she ran, a god turned her into a tree. Nine months later, the bark on the tree peeled back and a baby emerged. That's Adonis. Aphrodite took the baby and asked Persephone to raise him, and he grew up to be so beautiful that Aphrodite wanted him back and Persephone, in a weird Oedipal moment, wanted to keep him. They fought and then brought the matter to Zeus, who decided that Adonis could spend a third of the year with each goddess and the last third with whichever of the two he preferred. He naturally preferred Aphrodite (Persephone was like his MOM). He and Aphrodite had a daughter but then he died because he was attacked by a boar, and Aphrodite turned him into an anenome.
Moral of this story: Beautiful people have weird family situations and die young, the Greeks liked the idea of sleeping with their mothers, and all problems can be solved by turning into a plant.
------------------------
I met with my therapist today. She gave me an assignment, like usual. Luckily this homework is easier than last session's assignment, "Have a conversation with Incredibly Hot Guy, even if it's just three sentences"- I didn't accomplish this. The conversation was two sentences. This is not to say that this new assignment is easy. It is "list all your positive qualities." This is impossible, naturally, because to list all the ways I am awesome would take years.
No, not really. It's actually hard because I feel like I'm bragging every time I say something nice about myself. Thus, here is my list:
1. I have, thus far, not killed anything larger than a guinea pig (a duckling is smaller than a guinea pig, right?)
2. Cameras and mirrors have never broken when looking at me. Cameras break when I point them at other stuff.
3. I am not allergic to peas.
4. If I'm ever cornered by a mad ax murderer (as opposed to the sane ax murderers that wander around), and they say, "I'll let you live- if you answer one question: How much does Jean Grey weigh?" I'll be able to say, "115 lbs!" and save myself. I expect this to happen at least three times next week.
5. I could write a book on Greek mythology. No one would read it. It would sit on a shelf in a library and/or my friends' coffee tables and collect dust. It would, however, be an excellent conversation piece and/or paperweight. I would get to act all snooty, like "I've written a book" and my friends would have to make sure it was out when I came over, or I'd get all insulted...
(Don't worry, that's not what I'm telling her. You just don't want to hear me try to be nice to myself. Or maybe you do. I'll stick the real list in my LJ later tonight.)
------------------------
In other news, I was getting into the cab to come back from the therapist's office today when I got a call from TJ Maxx asking me to come in for an interview. Nice. That's 11 AM on Saturday. Less than an hour later- I kid you not- someone from Vector Marketing, a company I know nothing about except that they're hiring students and I applied, called and asked to set up an appointment. The caller was somewhat pushy and the next thing I knew I had a ninety-minute appointment interview at 2:30, meaning it will end right at four. That was when I was supposed to go to Macy's for that interview. One somewhat frantic call to Macy's later, I had a completely booked Saturday, from 11:00 to 6:00.
I mentioned that I had job interviews coming up in Group today and they kinda walked me through questions I should ask, which was good, because I so need a job. And only partially because I'm broke. In large part it is because my mother was incredibly disapproving of my lack of a summer job. I believe my not having a Christmas job would result in immediate banishment from her presence.
------------------------
Speaking of disapproving: Disapproving Rabbits. Very amusing. Kept me occupied for a whole half hour or so.
There is other stuff to do now.
Moral of this story: Beautiful people have weird family situations and die young, the Greeks liked the idea of sleeping with their mothers, and all problems can be solved by turning into a plant.
------------------------
I met with my therapist today. She gave me an assignment, like usual. Luckily this homework is easier than last session's assignment, "Have a conversation with Incredibly Hot Guy, even if it's just three sentences"- I didn't accomplish this. The conversation was two sentences. This is not to say that this new assignment is easy. It is "list all your positive qualities." This is impossible, naturally, because to list all the ways I am awesome would take years.
No, not really. It's actually hard because I feel like I'm bragging every time I say something nice about myself. Thus, here is my list:
1. I have, thus far, not killed anything larger than a guinea pig (a duckling is smaller than a guinea pig, right?)
2. Cameras and mirrors have never broken when looking at me. Cameras break when I point them at other stuff.
3. I am not allergic to peas.
4. If I'm ever cornered by a mad ax murderer (as opposed to the sane ax murderers that wander around), and they say, "I'll let you live- if you answer one question: How much does Jean Grey weigh?" I'll be able to say, "115 lbs!" and save myself. I expect this to happen at least three times next week.
5. I could write a book on Greek mythology. No one would read it. It would sit on a shelf in a library and/or my friends' coffee tables and collect dust. It would, however, be an excellent conversation piece and/or paperweight. I would get to act all snooty, like "I've written a book" and my friends would have to make sure it was out when I came over, or I'd get all insulted...
(Don't worry, that's not what I'm telling her. You just don't want to hear me try to be nice to myself. Or maybe you do. I'll stick the real list in my LJ later tonight.)
------------------------
In other news, I was getting into the cab to come back from the therapist's office today when I got a call from TJ Maxx asking me to come in for an interview. Nice. That's 11 AM on Saturday. Less than an hour later- I kid you not- someone from Vector Marketing, a company I know nothing about except that they're hiring students and I applied, called and asked to set up an appointment. The caller was somewhat pushy and the next thing I knew I had a ninety-minute appointment interview at 2:30, meaning it will end right at four. That was when I was supposed to go to Macy's for that interview. One somewhat frantic call to Macy's later, I had a completely booked Saturday, from 11:00 to 6:00.
I mentioned that I had job interviews coming up in Group today and they kinda walked me through questions I should ask, which was good, because I so need a job. And only partially because I'm broke. In large part it is because my mother was incredibly disapproving of my lack of a summer job. I believe my not having a Christmas job would result in immediate banishment from her presence.
------------------------
Speaking of disapproving: Disapproving Rabbits. Very amusing. Kept me occupied for a whole half hour or so.
There is other stuff to do now.
Monday, November 20, 2006
They Were Out Of Fortune Cookies. It Was Sad.
It's just another Mercatus day on the Roman-holiday front. Don't worry, there's some good holidays later this week. Of course, those of you using the holidays to get out of class/work/whatever will ask, "Gee, what good is that? Thanksgiving is this week, anyway!" But oh well. Sorry 'bout that.
----------------------
My Chemistry professor, a fairly young man for whom this is his first semester both teaching, and out of graduate school, came to class with a baseball cap this morning; this was not particularly out of the ordinary, despite it's dorky backwards status, as he tends to dress on the "youthful" side. Nevertheless, the reason for the hat quickly became apparent to those of us in the front row, as bits of black hair were peeping out from under it.
Last Friday, he was a blond.
So the truth was gradually teased out of him (oo, double entendre!); there had been a bit of an accident involving hair dye, you see. He wasn't very specific. But judging by his Facebook pictures, and what I can derive as the usual weekend proceedings for this man, I have this to say:
Learn from this story, kids. Never drink and dye.
---------------------
In other news, I managed to finagle my schedule so as to have no classes on Wednesday, and I'm going home tomorrow. This means that technically I could go home with Make A Mistake and her dad at 8:30 pm tonight, if we could work it out; however, that's like five hours after my last class and Closer's going too, so the car might be a bit cramped. Instead, my daddy's picking me up somewhere between 3:00 and 5:00, depending on when his car tuneup is over.
The Shrewd One, my sister, shall be retrieved on Wednesday. My grandfather is arriving on Wednesday or Thursday. Then there shall be turkey. Much turkey.
---------------------
I'm going to be having clothing issues tomorrow, I know it. We're still conserving water here, as a part of a competition to see which dorm can be the most energy-efficient, and I figured I should wait until I get home before I clean the laundry. This is especially true because I think my dorm's winning, and we get a pizza party.
Never say no to free food, unless it's in the hands of a creepy leering guy or it's cafeteria food.
Anyway, the issue arises in that I have no socks and no clean pants. So I guess I'll smell tomorrow.
---------------------
Speaking of which, a girl I know was sitting by me in class today and OH MY GOD HER BREATH SMELLED SO BAD. It was like she hadn't brushed in FOREVER. But I couldn't figure out how to discreetly like, offer her mint gum or something, because I had just put mine in as she sat down, so it would invovle throwing out perfectly good gum on the pretense of it being too "stale" and then getting a new piece and offering one to her. And then I would have had to press the issue if she'd refused... So I tried not to breath in when she talked. But honestly, what do you DO in that situation?
---------------------
My friend Libentra (I guess I can call her that; we have almost all the same classes and consequently eat together and do homework together a lot, and I think she's introduced me as her friend once or twice) and I grabbed lunch together, which really meant that she got a glass of lemonade and waited for me to finish eating so we could go work on our Latin translation together. She eats earlier on Mondays. Anyway, Libentra and I were sitting together and then Rachel's friends started coming over... first a guy who I've met before, he eats with us a lot... then two girls I didn't know... then ANOTHER girl I didn't know... By the time I finished my cheese enchilada lasagna (cafeteria food is WEIRD), the table was full.
This is why I need to hang out with Libentra more. She attracts friends like a lamp attracts moths, minus the zappy doom at the end. Most of the time, anyway.
Alas, a side effect of a table full of people that all know each other but not me is that they try to talk to me, because I'm the new thing; I consequently have to actually talk to them, and the shyness kicks in and I start saying the one-word answers or worse, sound stupid because I'm nervous. BUT. I did talk! I had an actual conversation about RAs (two of the girls were RAs) and how they have to go into people's rooms and check to make sure everything's unplugged during the break (and the stupidity of people leaving alcohol bottles lying around). I actually contributed, not a lot but some, to the conversation and I didn't get really nervous or anything.
I'm quite proud of myself. I'll have to remember this and mention it at Group.
It's a little weird at Group, because I'm so much worse off than the rest of the kids there. They're all talking about how they can't say no or they talk too much or they don't know how to talk about the important things. I can talk about the important things, it's the small talk that gets me. And because I'm trying so hard, I almost always have something positive to report... but it's like, "I talked to my lab partners in Bio about something not related to the lab" or "I talked to a guy I know from class... outside of class!" So I'm sure the other kids in Group are sitting there scratching their heads thinking, Damn, how bad off IS this girl? But I'm giving myself positive reinforcement. I have to take life one step at a time, and if that step is the difference between a one-word answer and a five-word answer, I'm gonna celebrate it.
--------------------
But. I have to study. I have a Chem test at noon tomorrow and a Latin test immediately after it. Latin I'm not worried about, I'm better off than most of my classmates- but Chem is evilness. Next time I write, I'll be at HOME!
----------------------
My Chemistry professor, a fairly young man for whom this is his first semester both teaching, and out of graduate school, came to class with a baseball cap this morning; this was not particularly out of the ordinary, despite it's dorky backwards status, as he tends to dress on the "youthful" side. Nevertheless, the reason for the hat quickly became apparent to those of us in the front row, as bits of black hair were peeping out from under it.
Last Friday, he was a blond.
So the truth was gradually teased out of him (oo, double entendre!); there had been a bit of an accident involving hair dye, you see. He wasn't very specific. But judging by his Facebook pictures, and what I can derive as the usual weekend proceedings for this man, I have this to say:
Learn from this story, kids. Never drink and dye.
---------------------
In other news, I managed to finagle my schedule so as to have no classes on Wednesday, and I'm going home tomorrow. This means that technically I could go home with Make A Mistake and her dad at 8:30 pm tonight, if we could work it out; however, that's like five hours after my last class and Closer's going too, so the car might be a bit cramped. Instead, my daddy's picking me up somewhere between 3:00 and 5:00, depending on when his car tuneup is over.
The Shrewd One, my sister, shall be retrieved on Wednesday. My grandfather is arriving on Wednesday or Thursday. Then there shall be turkey. Much turkey.
---------------------
I'm going to be having clothing issues tomorrow, I know it. We're still conserving water here, as a part of a competition to see which dorm can be the most energy-efficient, and I figured I should wait until I get home before I clean the laundry. This is especially true because I think my dorm's winning, and we get a pizza party.
Never say no to free food, unless it's in the hands of a creepy leering guy or it's cafeteria food.
Anyway, the issue arises in that I have no socks and no clean pants. So I guess I'll smell tomorrow.
---------------------
Speaking of which, a girl I know was sitting by me in class today and OH MY GOD HER BREATH SMELLED SO BAD. It was like she hadn't brushed in FOREVER. But I couldn't figure out how to discreetly like, offer her mint gum or something, because I had just put mine in as she sat down, so it would invovle throwing out perfectly good gum on the pretense of it being too "stale" and then getting a new piece and offering one to her. And then I would have had to press the issue if she'd refused... So I tried not to breath in when she talked. But honestly, what do you DO in that situation?
---------------------
My friend Libentra (I guess I can call her that; we have almost all the same classes and consequently eat together and do homework together a lot, and I think she's introduced me as her friend once or twice) and I grabbed lunch together, which really meant that she got a glass of lemonade and waited for me to finish eating so we could go work on our Latin translation together. She eats earlier on Mondays. Anyway, Libentra and I were sitting together and then Rachel's friends started coming over... first a guy who I've met before, he eats with us a lot... then two girls I didn't know... then ANOTHER girl I didn't know... By the time I finished my cheese enchilada lasagna (cafeteria food is WEIRD), the table was full.
This is why I need to hang out with Libentra more. She attracts friends like a lamp attracts moths, minus the zappy doom at the end. Most of the time, anyway.
Alas, a side effect of a table full of people that all know each other but not me is that they try to talk to me, because I'm the new thing; I consequently have to actually talk to them, and the shyness kicks in and I start saying the one-word answers or worse, sound stupid because I'm nervous. BUT. I did talk! I had an actual conversation about RAs (two of the girls were RAs) and how they have to go into people's rooms and check to make sure everything's unplugged during the break (and the stupidity of people leaving alcohol bottles lying around). I actually contributed, not a lot but some, to the conversation and I didn't get really nervous or anything.
I'm quite proud of myself. I'll have to remember this and mention it at Group.
It's a little weird at Group, because I'm so much worse off than the rest of the kids there. They're all talking about how they can't say no or they talk too much or they don't know how to talk about the important things. I can talk about the important things, it's the small talk that gets me. And because I'm trying so hard, I almost always have something positive to report... but it's like, "I talked to my lab partners in Bio about something not related to the lab" or "I talked to a guy I know from class... outside of class!" So I'm sure the other kids in Group are sitting there scratching their heads thinking, Damn, how bad off IS this girl? But I'm giving myself positive reinforcement. I have to take life one step at a time, and if that step is the difference between a one-word answer and a five-word answer, I'm gonna celebrate it.
--------------------
But. I have to study. I have a Chem test at noon tomorrow and a Latin test immediately after it. Latin I'm not worried about, I'm better off than most of my classmates- but Chem is evilness. Next time I write, I'll be at HOME!
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